It's hard to resist everything I have ever known
I guess I can say that things aren't going incredibly well right now. No real danger, mind you, but mentally I am just a little bit off.
I skipped the gym on Tuesday (And Monday if we are being honest), and I am not all that enthralled about going on Wednesday. Of course, the smart thing would be to not think about it, just wake up tomorrow, get my shoes on and go.
Oh, and I will put shorts on too. And a shirt. But after that, I should definitely go.
I suppose the mental blocks are part of this whole thing. Good days, bad days, right? So I suppose I'll just have to fight through it using the underlying theme of this whole thing: It doesn't matter how I feel now, so long as I am productive.
That's why I am sitting here at 2 a.m. hungry and tired and keeping myself from checking what's in the fridge. That's the thinking that keeps me on the elliptical machine for a few minutes longer when I am sick of doing the same motion 4,000 times.
And, really, that's what has to happen throughout. Long term gratification over short term gratification. Isn't that the key to a happy life? Well, that's what M. Scott Peck said in The Road Less Traveled, a book that I was assigned to read in high school, but never got past the first page. Luckily, that first page was all about delaying gratification. Thanks M. Scott!
Really, when the urges set in, my mind has to move toward the goal. That's the only thing that really matters at this point.
It's hard, for sure. It's hard to resist everything you've ever known. Hard to say no to the one thing you really want right now. Hard not to envision a fresh start tomorrow, and hard to truly see a goal that doesn't seem to be getting any closer.
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