Seriously, I'm fine
I'm OK!
Some were asking about that, considering my somewhat depressive last post.
Rest easy, I am fine. Although I might be a few pounds heavier than when we last spoke. Other than that, though, I am cool.
So I have some explaining to do, especially to those who have followed this with any sort of regularity. These last two weeks haven't been good to the diet. Actually, they've almost killed the diet.
We won't go into specifics, other than to say that IN-N-Out Burger is the greatest thing known to man. (If you live outside of California, Nevada or Arizona, you might seriously think of relocating just so you can experience the wonder of the greatest fast food restaurant known to man).
Still, last week was sketchy at best. It was an on-again, off-again series of frustrations and self-convincing. Sort of a back and forth between "Fuck this" and "Remember what's at stake."
I gave up on the gym after Monday. Just didn't feel like going. I gave up on eating healthy at all on Friday. Just didn't feel like doing it any more. Looking back, last week was a blur. I can't tell you how many bad days I had (Although Monday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday might be accurate). And I can't tell you exactly what I ate on those days.
But I know that if the title of this blog was "Dan Nied's Fortress of Becoming a Fatass Again," then last week would have been ideal.
Don't start thinking I've given up, though. I haven't. I think I just needed a little break. As Alexandria said in one of her comments, I needed to have a pity party. So I did. It was great.
I'm not embarrassed to say that the stress of this project got to me a little bit. I found that I wasn't happy with the recent progress at all, and I was depressed when I realized that I am only 10 pounds lighter now than I was a year ago.
I wondered why nobody had noticed my transformation yet. Then I figured out that I hadn't physically changed at all. When I began my current job in July 2006, I weighed 275 pounds. On Christmas Day, 2007, I was 299. Now in April 2008, I am somewhere around 265.
Though I have lost 34 pounds since Christmas, it's really only 10 pounds. No one at work noticed when I gained 24 pounds. So why would they notice when I lose 10? Makes sense.
But that's why I had been looking forward to this particular period so much. I saw the first 30 pounds as getting back to the starting line. I saw the last 30 pounds as a triumphant victory lap. I always knew that there wouldn't be noticeably physical differences until I was around 255 or so. But for some reason, I just haven't been able to push my way to that point.
Kind of frustrating.
Also frustrating was the constant spewing of optimistic thought I've given you on this blog. Yes, I can write inspirational musings here, and I can make it look like my fuck ups are just happy accidents. But I just got sick of taking that angle. I didn't feel like bullshitting you (or myself) anymore.
Basically, I didn't like the way I was handling this situation. In myself, I saw a great lack of willpower and an endless supply of empty promises. Oh, I will go all of April without screwing up! But in reality, I lasted six days. Oh, I will go to the gym five times a week! But somehow I kept forgetting that that meant only two days off from the gym.
To top it all off, I wasn't mentally stable when it came to food. Maybe I tried to hide it, but it should be obvious that I lionized the off days entirely too much. I convinced myself that I had to have them, and once I got to that glorious day of food freedom, I would be in my element enjoying the spoils of my hard-earned victory over fatassedness.
And no matter how many times I ended an off day thinking "that just wasn't worth it," I couldn't fully shake myself of the fantasy of fast food. I'd finish $13 of Taco Bell and think it might have been the worst meal of my life. But instead of swearing off Taco Bell, I just kept hoping that the next time would be more fulfilling.
That is an endless cycle I don't much care for.
All of those things kind of gathered up around me last week. I responded by not dealing with them for a while. My thoughts never strayed from the diet, though. In fact, I'd say I thought about it more last week than at most other times.
Eventually, I realized that I was regrouping. I tried to strategize a little bit, and told myself that I am really not that far away from my goal. I thought about the time frame I am working with (heading back to Detroit in mid-July), and was honest with myself about how long I can really keep doing regular blog updates (sad to say, I don't see this blog lasting past mid-June. But I have been known to offer non-binding timelines before).
I figured I should make a run at The Perfect May. But then I remembered how that went in April.
Finally, I thought about what life has to be like once all the weight is off. Actually, when all the weight is off, I will probably change very little about my current lifestyle. I'll still control caloric intake. I might even start working out more instead of less. I'll probably start lifting weights in an effort to tighten up my body. The only thing that will be gone (hopefully) is the guilt.
That brings us to the big question: What happens from here on out?
First, let me tell you I don't want to make any promises. Let me also tell you that I don't feel like I have to make any dietary changes. What was good enough for the first 105 pounds is probably going to be good enough for the last 25.
As I have always maintained, this is going to be about mental strength. Maybe I can have a Perfect May. Hell, maybe I will. But I am not going to put pressure on myself to do it. Instead, I'll just concentrate on taking the weight off with the same techniques that have always worked.
I could give up. I know that. But I also know that I owe it to myself to complete this journey. I've waited too long to do this to let it fall a few pounds short.
Again, no promises, but here is a timeline that I have in mind. Sunday was April 27. That's 35 days until June 1. I think I can lose 20 pounds in that time (again, no promises, no crazy measures taken. I just think if I do what I need to do, I can lose 20 pounds in 35 days). That will take me to, at worst, 250. That leaves 10 more pounds for the next month and a half.
It's an achievable goal. We'll just see if I can do it.
But again, I owe it to myself to find out.
It's hard to resist everything I have ever known
I guess I can say that things aren't going incredibly well right now. No real danger, mind you, but mentally I am just a little bit off.
I skipped the gym on Tuesday (And Monday if we are being honest), and I am not all that enthralled about going on Wednesday. Of course, the smart thing would be to not think about it, just wake up tomorrow, get my shoes on and go.
Oh, and I will put shorts on too. And a shirt. But after that, I should definitely go.
I suppose the mental blocks are part of this whole thing. Good days, bad days, right? So I suppose I'll just have to fight through it using the underlying theme of this whole thing: It doesn't matter how I feel now, so long as I am productive.
That's why I am sitting here at 2 a.m. hungry and tired and keeping myself from checking what's in the fridge. That's the thinking that keeps me on the elliptical machine for a few minutes longer when I am sick of doing the same motion 4,000 times.
And, really, that's what has to happen throughout. Long term gratification over short term gratification. Isn't that the key to a happy life? Well, that's what M. Scott Peck said in The Road Less Traveled, a book that I was assigned to read in high school, but never got past the first page. Luckily, that first page was all about delaying gratification. Thanks M. Scott!
Really, when the urges set in, my mind has to move toward the goal. That's the only thing that really matters at this point.
It's hard, for sure. It's hard to resist everything you've ever known. Hard to say no to the one thing you really want right now. Hard not to envision a fresh start tomorrow, and hard to truly see a goal that doesn't seem to be getting any closer.
Did I grow a little?
First, thanks to a certain commenter that got my spirits up again after a little bit of a lull over the past few weeks.
Here, read it in full:
From: Stalker (Alexandria under a very tricky pseudonym)
Comments:
Hey! It's nice to read a response to my comment. (especially the "my favorite" part - gave me tingles).
24 pounds is all you have left. So little, comparatively and yet so much in terms of effort you'll need to expend. I have absolutely no doubt you will achieve your goal because, while you are no perfectionist, you have more determination than many, many others. (I bet when you channel that determination toward work, you're the best of your peers...am I wrong?).
So Guy is disappointed. Big deal. He's got a fiancé who helps him out. You are doing this all on your own. For yourself. And that is the greatest, most enduring part about this transformation. There's no woman you want to impress, you're doing this for you. And in the end, that's all that matters.
You are motivational. Your dedication to your goal is admirable. Have I ever told you you're my hero? (Sorry, I channeled Whitney for a minute) But it is true. Keep on truckin'.
And I am here, always searching for new posts from you in hopes that you'll give me an honorable mention. Just kidding. I do search for you to check on your mental health and your progress. If I ever stop responding, my medical issues prevailed..........
All the best,
Salma (Her other pseudonym.)
I appreciate the checking in on my mental health. Actually, I think Alexandria is a psychologist, at least that's what her BC tag says. In fact, I think I might end up seeing a psychiatrist at some point just to clear a few father issues up. (But I'll leave that be until my next series: Dan Nied's Path to Self Acceptance and Mental Stability. That should be hitting Blogcritics sometime around Thanksgiving).
But Alexandria's comment illustrates the exact reason I am keeping this blog. Honestly, I wouldn't be able to do this without a little outside support. It would have been easy to, over the weekend, convince myself I deserved another off day. But instead I thought about how I would rationalize it to you guys, and how I would make it seem ok that I put myself one step further away from my goal.
Instead, I relaxed slightly (2,000 calories on Saturday, about 1,800 on Sunday), and ellipticised for the first time in five days on Sunday.
Yeah, you didn't know about that break from the gym I took last week. I never really told. I was kind of sick of the stagnant weeks of the diet and decided to just bag the elliptical for a while.
That led to a stalemate week. Weighed in at 265 on Sunday and felt ok about it. The idea, though, was to be below 250 by the end of April. That's definitely not happening considering today is April 21.
But I can make it under 260, which puts me a few good weeks away from 240. This is the time for outright discipline. That isn't exactly a recent revelation, but it is something that I need to enact in my daily life.
I think I took some steps toward that discipline last week, despite avoiding the gym entirely.
First, I beat cake. Yep, there was birthday cake at work on Thursday, and a coworker was trying her hardest to get me to enjoy some. Around 8 p.m., she actually brought plates of cake into our newsroom and gave some to everyone. I swore at her and told her to get out (in a nice, joking way I should add). But there was cake to be had, and I didn't have it.
So that's a little victory.
But my thought process also matured a little bit last week. In my mind were visions of 240, but they were balanced by the current reality of 265. I had to connect the two somehow, right?
So I tried to figure a way to get to the gym six times a week. The answer: start getting up at 10 a.m. instead of 11 a.m. Go to the gym for an hour and then come home and go about my daily routine. That's important, because I am big on routines. I don't like to have them disrupted if I can help it.
I'm also starting to take the current menu for granted. I wasn't looking forward to off days nearly as much last week. And, as we sit now, I am not particularly sure when I'll feel the need for an off day again. I'm sure it will happen but, honestly, I just don't get the gratification I expect.
I think I order pizza because pizza sounds good to me. I have a good image of pizza in my head. And most of the time, the pizza doesn't live up to that image.
Same thing with most fast food (In-N-Out Burger excluded). I've got good memories of the double Whopper, or sitting down to five McDonald's double cheeseburgers. So I turn to them when I want instant gratification. But they are never really worth the consequences.
When an off-day meal doesn't live up to the hype I've previously assigned it, I get guilty and frustrated and hungry for more.
I'd say that happens about 70 percent of the time.
Thing is, when I have an off day meal that is truly delicious, I don't feel guilty at all. I feel a little bit of pride for making that meal count. I can think of maybe four times over the last three months that an off day meal has truly been worth it.
So if the Burger King and Taco Bell runs aren't worth the consequences, why do I keep falling into that trap? Obviously, it's because I have had good experiences with them before. But when I was having those good experiences, the food wasn't working against a specific goal I was trying to achieve. Yes, Taco Bell is excellent when I am drunk at 2 a.m. Yes, pizza is amazing when I have nothing to do for the entire day. But it's just not worth it right now.
During past off days, I was eating shit just to eat shit, like it was my duty. It was as much a part of the diet as the salads and turkey sandwiches.
I thought off days were the safe house that would give me the strength to get to the next level. They were the water cups during a marathon, or a campsite during a weekend hike. But that definitely wasn't true. Sunday was my sixth straight day of eating healthy. But it isn't like I wanted to cheat more Sunday because I ate healthy on Friday. No, every day is its own entity with its own rules. Sometimes the urge to cheat will be there, sometimes it won't. And it really has nothing to do with how long I've held out.
At least I don't think so.
So why am I putting so much stock into the off days? Well, because it seems like I should, you know? It seems like I am depriving my body of things that it likes, so I should take time out to indulge. Sounds good, right? But that's really not how it works. Because now I am treating my body better, giving it more of what it needs to work. So why should I go against that grain?
Off days should not be done just to curb a sudden craving. Instead, they should be applied correctly, when they can be appreciated.
So that's what I think I learned.
Answering you
Finally, some comments. (The pandering didn't hurt.) Anyway, let's answer em.
From: Alexandria Jackson
Comments: Hi, I'm here. I'm thrilled for you!
I stopped commenting so much because:
1. I was starting to feel like a stalker
2. I was having my own medical issues.
3. I didn't think you cared much.
However, know that I still watch for your articles and am wishing you well.
We start off with Alexandria, my favorite. I just want to say that you should not feel like a stalker, and I care very much about the comments on here, especially from people who have taken a regular interest in this. It's tough to find motivation to write when you aren't sure people are reading. I don't want this to turn into a personal journal. I want it to be something people can take and use in whatever way they want.
Oh, and good luck with your medical issues.
From: Guy
Comments: Little disappointed with the quickness in which you abandoned the 25 day plan. You'll never know how much progress you could have made. The one constant I'm finding is that breaking the plan is never worth it. At this stage in the game it's going to take near perfection to see any kind of results. You're right -- the gradual weight loss stage is probably over -- from here on out it's going to take a week or two of solid work to see the scale move in the right direction. Just do it, perfect days from now until May and see what happens. It will be worth the effort.
I agree with everything said here. Breaking the plan really isn't worth it, and it always feels better to turn in a perfect day. Certainly it makes sense to just pick up the pieces after a bad weekend and just look toward the next goal. I can't be happy about screwing up, but I can't dwell on it either, right? This entire thing is about what happens next, what can I do to get to where I want to be? It has nothing to do with getting down to 270 anymore, or worrying about the effects of a bad day. Accept what you have lost and move on.
From: literalist
Comments: Hi. Fuck you... How are you doing? (Hey, you said "say hi if you feel like saying hi and fuck you if you feel like saying fuck you", so...) Anyhow, hope you make progress with your weight. Don't overdo it. Just a suggestion.
Yes, thanks for the "Fuck you," it definitely brightened up my day.
As for overdoing it, I understand what you mean. It's tough at this point, you know? I can see the ultimate goal and it's hard not to just sprint there. I have to admit that sometimes I skip meals because of my schedule, and I always feel good about it. After all, 1,200 calories is better than 1,500, right? But not really, especially if I go six hours between eats. But I'm not exactly ready to drop down to an 800 calorie diet, nor will I ever be.
From: Sarah
Comments: I'm reading... and rooting for you.
Thanks! I am rooting for you too in whatever it is you do.
From: Alexandria Jackson
Comments: You'll get there. I am glad the "Perfect April" didn't materialize. It might have gotten you something in the short run but it isn't who you are. You're making mostly healthy choices, you've stepped up the gym attendance and, while you haven't lost weight this week, you certainly haven't gained. A lifestyle change toward healthier choices is a great goal that you have already achieved and can maintain. Perfection is overrated.
Yes, the Perfect April is not me, that's for sure. But that's what made it alluring. I viewed it as a way to push this to the end, and make up for past mistakes. Also, I was curious about how long I could go without screwing up. Perfection may be overrated, but it's also nice to achieve from time to time. My philosophy is still to extend the time between off days so I can see what kind of progress I can make.
From: Gigi
Comments: Been reading you since first 100 days! Please keep writing, and the every three days postings keep it real. I am curious about how you are planning on maintaining your weight when you finish the "diet."
That's a great question, and one that I have been thinking about for the last few days.
Once this is over, what happens? That's the question to end all questions. I can tell you one thing, I won't be entirely happy with the way I look. Smaller, yes. Healthier, yes. More attractive, yes. But I won't exactly be what I want to be. I'll still have a gut that I'll have to hide, and I'll still be concerned with the double chin that will probably never go away (but that will probably not be noticeable to anyone but me).
Theoretically, I could go back to my old ways, but that's not going to happen. That's really just not me anymore. I can't imagine going to the grocery store and loading up on shitty food that will make me feel terrible all week. One thing I can say is that I have developed a grocery shopping habit over the last two and a half years. I don't even think about buying unhealthy items. That never changed, even when I was eating like shit at the end of last year.
So I'll keep the grocery shopping intact, though I do need to find a way to cut about $50 per paycheck off that bill.
But still, what will my habits be once I am not worried about weight loss anymore? I think I figured it out, actually. They won't change. The daily eating regimen will be pretty much the same as it is now, save for a few extra calories per day. It's just what I do now, you know? Plus, just because I am at 240 doesn't mean I have to stay at 240. Maybe I won't be trying to lose weight, but that doesn't mean it can't come off. If, by the end of the summer, I am down to 235 or 230, then that's cool. If I am still at 240, then that's cool too.
In order to keep my weight in check, I think I'll weigh myself about once a week, and if I am over 240, I'll make that correction quickly. That's my maintenance plan.
The exercise will change, though I haven't quite yet figured out how. The elliptical will continue to be an important tool in maintaining my weight, but I might scale its use back to two or three times per week. But I think once I achieve my goal publicly, I will start a private regimen (no blog), to change my body. That means finding and staying on a lifting plan that will give me a little more definition and a lot less body fat. I'll start doing crunches and lunges and bench presses and curls. Lifting is the one thing I have been putting off during this endeavor, but I think it will become a big part of my life once I am done. After all, I pay for use of the entire gym, not just the elliptical machines.
But honestly, who knows what's in store for me after this? I do, however, think I owe it to myself to continue for a long time.
One thing I am really looking forward to is not worrying about social situations or taking a day off here and there. I will have to learn to keep things within reason, but I'll also learn to indulge without worry or sorrow.
What I have ahead of me is a life of balance, but it might take a while to figure out the proper balance. But in the end, I am confident that I can pull that off.
However, I have to lose these final 24 pounds first.
Talk to me people
So it's Day 106, and I am, at last weigh-in, 35.2 pounds lighter than when I began. Actually, let's lay it out in table form for you, since I haven't done that lately:
THE COUNTER
Starting weight: 299
Last weigh-in (Friday): 263.8
Total pounds lost: 35.2
Pounds until 240: 23.8
So it seems that the Fortress is working, and I am not wasting your time. Certainly we could have seen more dramatic results. With 100 perfect days, I probably could be down to 240 already and finally be out of your lives.
While I am sorry for rehashing the basic plot of this drawn-out drama, I just wanted to see how it looked on paper. 35 pounds is definitely a nice chunk of weight, so I am feeling good about myself.
I wonder, though, how many of you I have lost along the way. Maybe the lagging of the posts from daily to three times a week has turned you off. Maybe my constant empty promises of weigh-ins and blog entries that never happened have helped you decide I am not worth your time. That's ok. I don't mind. Really. But for whatever reason, comments have dwindled on Blogcritics. At this point, the most regular poster is Guy, who doesn't really count because he is my best friend and often just uses the BC forum to tell me what is going on his life. The other most frequent poster is Kevin, who also doesn't count because he is a very close friend as well.
So indulge me, if you will. Please let me give in to my insecurities for a moment. I am asking whoever reads this post to leave a comment, just so I know you are there. If you want to say "hi", say "hi". If you want to say "Fuck you", say "Fuck you." You won't hurt my feelings. If you want to offer your opinions on this series or my progress as a whole, that would be great. If you want to share your own story of fat-fighting, then that would be even better.
I am not pandering just for the ego boost. Instead, I would like to start answering your comments again. I want to know what you want me to write about, and I want to answer any questions you might have.
Also, I want to keep up the idea of the Fortress, and this blog is the foundation of that. It's a personal support group, of sorts. Something that keeps me in check when I think about running afoul. It's about having people that I don't want to let down. Thank God for the internet, because otherwise I would be in this alone, and I would have no one to answer to besides myself.
So let me hear from you.
As for the diet, the first three days of the Perfect April have gone according to plan. I am sticking to 1,500 calories per day, with a few new twists from time to time. Tuesday, I made my first eggbeater omelet, with onions and fat-free cheese. It was delicious. Monday, my roommate brought home a low-fat chicken sandwich from Starbucks (his place of employment). 330 calories, 3.5 grams of fat. Though I wouldn't ever pay the $6 price tag, it is definitely worth it if you get one for free.
As for the gym, I've gone the last two days. Monday, all the elliptical machines were taken, so I got on the stair climber for an excruciating, painful and sweaty 28 minutes. I wanted to stop, but I persevered. Now I have to make it back to the gym the next three days, and probably rest on Saturday.
I am confident that I'll make it through the complete 25 days without screwing up, Though there are some possible pitfalls along the way (a spring potluck at work on Thursday, for instance). But it will be interesting to see what happens in Week 2 or Week 3. I am guessing I'll try to convince myself to take a day off, but in the end, I'll realize why I am doing this, and what the eventual rewards will be.
That's it for today. Hope to hear from you guys (If you are out there, at least).
Thinking it over
I've been absent for the past few days, just trying to collect my thoughts and figure out the best course of action for the Fortress.
Hope you didn't miss me too much.
There's one thing I'd like to say. It may seem obvious, but it's something I have to learn again and again and it never really seems to sink in.
Losing weight is hard.
No matter how many pounds you lose, that next one is always a struggle. You need the right balance of motivation, mindset, willpower and decision-making. You need to be willing to cut yourself off from the world around you if that's the best way to go.
I've learned those lessons over the last three months. There were times early on when I felt like I could do this with my eyes closed. That's because the actual eating part of this isn't that hard. After a while, the eating just becomes routine. Get up, have cereal. Have a sandwich before work, have a salad during the dinner break, have some fruit around 9 p.m., have tea after work, mark down 1,500 calories in the diary. That's an easy schedule to keep, and I don't complain about that menu.
But the trouble comes after that's been done for a couple days. You've done well, you've lost weight, don't you deserve a reward? Then you start to think about it, and you arrange your days accordingly, and then you wonder the next week why you haven't lost as much weight.
Sometimes it is tough getting from point A to point B. Going from off day to off day with perfect attendance and the gym, or sticking exactly to the menu you've planned out. That's not easy to do.
Having an off-day planned right around the corner doesn't help, either. Instead, it enables you to rearrange your plans for short-term gratification. For instance, I moved Sunday's planned off day up to Friday last week. It doesn't sound like a big deal, but it thwarted momentum, and extended the time until the next off day and increased the likelihood of falling off the wagon before then.
Outside of the 100 percent effective abstinence method (i.e. just don't cheat), it can be difficult just to get to the off day. Why? Because it is viewed as something you created, and you can change around as you please.
That's where the discipline comes in. Really, it's all about how you view these things. If you look at an off day as something solid that can't be changed, you are likely to make decisions based on that view. So you won't move it up and stop your momentum, and you won't extend it to two days knowing you'll be back on the diet in three.
Anyway, on Saturday night I was thinking about the best way to bring this thing in for a landing, and I that got me to thinking about the off days a little bit. To date, I've generally taken an off day once a week, usually on Sundays. That's not something I am particularly happy about, just something I've done in order to make this a little more bearable.
But how long can I go without an off day?
That was the question I asked myself as I drove home from work. So I figured I would find out. As I thought about it more, it seemed to make sense. To be successful within a reasonable time frame, I need one more big push towards 240. If I can get within the realm of that number, it will be much easier to make that final push to the goal.
So here's the plan I came up with. For the rest of April, I am going to try to be perfect. Sunday, the first day of that plan, was April 6. That means 25 days of eating 1,500 calories (with the occasional jump up to the 1,700-2,000 range to change it up), and that means at least 18 trips to the gym in that time.
The next off day, which will be looked at as solid and immovable, will be Thursday, May 1.
The weight loss goal over that time will be to get under 250 pounds. That will leave me with less than 10 pounds to lose in May, which is something I can do.
If I might compare this to the Iraq war, which doesn't really seem apt outside of this particular metaphor, this plan would be the troop surge. And after I find success here, I will start working on my exit strategy, so to speak.
It seems like a big task ahead of me, 24 more days of eating perfectly. But I understand that there needs to be a sense of urgency, and I realize that delaying my gratification is the most important thing I can do right now.
A quick update
This is gonna be kinda short, just because it is getting late and I'd like to snap my streak of three consecutive days waking up after noon.
There are three things you should definitely know. And, as you know, I am a big fan of numbered items, so here we go:
1) Monday I weighed in at 264.4, capping the most dramatic week of weight loss to date. After a three-day binge, I spent seven days eating as low-cal as I knew how, and lost at least (using 270.0 as a starting point) 5.6 pounds. That showed me what happens when I actually dedicate myself to this. Now, I need about six more weeks just like that and I will be bidding you goodbye at 240 pounds.
By the way, that 264.4 number is the lowest I have weighed since I was a 240-pound freshman in high school. Sophomore year I was 306, but I can't remember putting on that much weight. In college, I got down to 267 one February, but promptly gained it all back. So yeah, 264 is good.
2) Monday night I decided to go to Taco Bell. Not the best decision, but something I just happened to decide on as work was ending. I am not particularly upset about it, not beating myself up at all. I kind of figured that the 1,200 calorie menu couldn't be maintained for 14 straight days, as I had originally planned it. So I got that little slip up out of the way and moved on to Tuesday.
3) After a little bit of refocusing on Monday night, and a certifiable ass-dragging to the gym Tuesday morning (Well, my Tuesday morning, your 12:30 p.m., 3:30 p.m. if you live in the east), I returned to the 1,200-1,500 calorie diet perfectly. Big salad and fruit as the big meals. Now I just need to get to Sunday (next planned off day), and then weigh in one more time and hope that Taco Bell didn't totally derail this week. Of course, after Sunday, it's back on the wagon for, hopefully, two weeks. Somehow I see the end in site, and I don't want to prolong it more than I have to.
And that's pretty much the happening on the Fortress. Anything you'd like to say?