Dan Nied's Fortress of Weight Loss: Day 16

After not writing anything for Thursday, I felt bad for the readers. And, though I have perfectly good reason to not write anything tonight, I am trudging ahead so as not to leave you hanging through the weekend.

The reason for the trudging? I am a nice guy.

Let me start this with a question: Have you ever had liquid shoot violently out of your ass?

Maybe you’re lucky. Maybe you haven’t.

I hadn’t, at least until I woke up on Thursday morning.

That happened about five more times over the course of the day. I’m still not going to bed for another few hours after I write, so we may have one more completely liquid form of diarrhea happening on this beautiful winter day.

Yeah!

Funny thing was, I was feeling kind of backed up on Tuesday and Wednesday. I guess I somehow prayed to the patron saint of loose stool, because the rains poured down from the heavens all day on Thursday. Like fucking manna.

So as you might figure, I am not at 100 percent right now, nor do I know what caused the illness. Could be something I ate, could be my roommate, who had the flu earlier this week (however, I am reporting only minor and fleeting flu symptoms). It seems I can keep solid food in ok (not that I ate much of it on Thursday), but liquids come out both holes. So maybe I should be worried about that, eh? Is there a doctor in the house?

I would apologize for my graphic descriptions of my diarrhea, but I think we’re all mature enough to handle it.

As for the diet, I took Wednesday night off of the blog to sort of clear my head, and go about this with one night of not worrying what to write about, or how good my writing will be. I was also kind of embarrassed. Even after a sub-1,700 calorie day on Tuesday, I gained two pounds. I was getting kind of pissed off about that. I still am not sure what it was, but it might have been the backed up feeling I alluded to earlier. Let’s just say I felt heavy.

So on Wednesday I decided that I was going to attack this diet. Instead of hoping it kicked in, I was going to force it to. I didn’t do anything drastic, just ate right without any minor slipups. After I got off work, I went to the gym and ellipticised for a half hour, burning 500 calories off my 292 pound body.

So, as you can see, I finally broke through that barrier. I exercised after work. It was nice, for sure. In the morning, I weighed just over 289. So I lost just under three pounds over the course of the day. Not bad, I suppose.

Of course, my current affliction is fantastic for the purposes of this diet. By the middle of Thursday, I was down to 286.4, easily a new low for this venture. Predictably, I didn’t eat much on Thursday. However, after work I did force myself to down a can of soup, a can of turkey chili (it’s been sitting in the cupboard for months), and two pieces of dry toast. All told, I probably ate about 1,150 calories on Thursday. We’ll see how that all works out.

The only other note about the Fortress is that, diarrhea permitting, I’ve scheduled my off-day for Sunday. There is a chance of a pizza in my future. Needless to say, I am kind of pumped about that.

So that’s about it from here. I’ll be taking the weekend off from the blog, and I will be back on Monday to tell you how that pizza was.