Dan Nied's Fortress of Weight Loss: Day 7

It should be known to you that I almost decided not to write tonight. But now, aren’t you glad I did? I know I am. I needed to.

I’m not trying to convince you that you should feel lucky that I got off my lazy ass and wrote. Instead, I am trying to illustrate a point.

And it’s a point we will get to in just a little bit.

For now, let’s talk progress.

So Jan. 1 was Day 7 of this magical experiment in deprivation. If you read the Day 3 entry, which is the last on record due to the long weekend, you’ll know I had to wrestle with some meet-craving demons on Friday.

It wasn’t a pretty sight. Instead, it was the exact opposite of pretty. It was gruesome and pathetic. But, I made it through and Saturday was a solid day. I even found a smart use for chocolate (quick story: I was at work Saturday night and had forgotten to bring in a snack. However, I noticed someone had brought in miniature Hershey’s bars. Instead of accepting the equally unappealing options of A. gorging, or B. starving myself, I decided to eat three wee-little, fun-sized, candy bars over the course of three hours. Was it the optimal choice? No. Was it the best option available? Yes. I am confident that made the right choice, keeping the old metabolism going while not totally screwing up the day).

Anyway, Saturday was good. However, I had already planned an off-day on Sunday. The reason was that I was covering the Raiders/Chargers game for work, and would be offered free and delicious food before the game, and less-delicious, but still free, hot dogs at halftime. I am lucky both the Raiders and 49ers suck and missed the playoffs. Otherwise that little free-food charade might have to continue for a few more weeks. But that was the season-finale. Thanks Raiders!

On Sunday night, I had my ceremonial last meal, which I never really got to have the night before I began the Fortress. It may sound like a silly excuse to binge, but I actually take it pretty seriously. Before I go into a serious weight-loss quest (I am sad to say, there have been more than a few in my life), I always take time for one final unhealthy splurge. This time it was two chicken burritos from the good people at Chicken Express on Broadway St. in scenic Vallejo, Calif.

The point of that meal is to sort of bridge two phases in my life. I look at it as a transition between Fat Dan and Determined Dan. I enjoy every bite, but in the way you enjoy a last kiss with a newly dumped girlfriend (or boyfriend, if that’s your thing). The night before the 100 Days quest, I ordered a meat-lovers pizza from Pizza Hut. This time, it was chicken burritos, and it was more than just an excuse to eat like shit for a night.

Monday, New Years Eve, was good, but not spectacular. I ate ok, including a guilt-free trip to Subway, but I also talked myself out of going to the gym. The problem was that I was planning to embark on the first “super workout” of the Fortress. The “super workout” consists of 30 minutes on the elliptical, a full upper body lifting session, laps around the pool and an undetermined time in the sauna. The estimated time of all this is about 90-120 minutes. I have never done this workout, and I am only a little bit ashamed to say that the thought of this process nearly made me crap my pants.

So instead of doing the “super workout”, I lay in bed and, I swear, watched the shadows on the wall. It was a pathetic low point in my social life, as I had long ago decided I wasn’t going out for New Years Eve, and I felt kind of lonely…(reflective ellipses)…

Of course, that put the onus on Tuesday, Day 7. I had to work out, and I nearly talked myself out of it again. I decided to put the “super workout” on hold for the time being so I wouldn’t psyche myself out again. Instead I started the lifting program and went on the elliptical machine for 20 minutes. It was the toughest workout I have had since I moved here, and I was pretty damn happy (and tired) when I got done. In fact, I was happy enough to grill up a pound of extra-lean turkey burger and have a heart-healthy celebration of the New Year (about 700 calories, and about 2,000 total for the day. Not bad, eh?).

I am sorry to say, though, that I fear much of the weight I lost in the first two days has returned. Indeed, after Day 2, I was down four pounds, to 295. On Sunday morning, I was at 298. And that was before free media food and two chicken burritos that night. I haven’t weighed myself since Sunday, and am not particularly excited about returning to the scale on Wednesday morning.

But it’s ok. I have started to look at the first seven days as something of a bonus week for this whole endeavor. Seriously, what normal person would start trying to lose weight a week BEFORE the New Year? Of course, I hope we have determined so far that I am not quite a normal person. I am a sadistic idiot.

So it was a tough, and not fully successful, first week. But again, I am fine with that. What I learned in the first seven days is that this is going to take a lot of effort from me; much more effort than I thought, actually. I figured that if I just started the weight loss blog again, then the rest would take care of itself. But I forgot that, the first time around, the blog wasn’t the reason I lost weight. While it certainly kept me on the straight and narrow, and was an integral tool in the process, it was only a product of my own effort.

I think I realized that fact right before I started again, but somehow forgot in the excitement of the first few days. In fact, I have to actually concentrate on this. Damn, I have to really try to fight the urges and I have to force myself to drive to 24 Hour Fitness instead of watching the shadows move up on the wall as the sun sets. I’ve done some research: Watching shadows on the wall for a half hour burns absolutely no calories, while using an elliptical machine for the same amount of time burns several hundred. Don’t say I am not a wealth of knowledge.

But that brings me to my opening line about why I needed to write today. It is true that I almost decided to bag this entry, using the built in excuse of New Year’s Day. But I couldn’t do that, not if I wanted to take myself seriously.

See, the reason I picked the title “Fortress of Weight Loss” is because the key to being successful in this quest is to cocoon myself into this whole thing. I have to build it up all around me, so it is always at the forefront of every decision I make. Perhaps that sounds like I am putting too much pressure on myself. However, it’s what works for me, and every person must find the means to their end.

The fortress is built from two main ingredients. First, there is the support network, which hopefully will come from this blog. No, I didn’t start this to entertain you with my successes and failures. I started it so I could build an audience (of 1, 100, 1,000, 100,000? It doesn’t matter) that would actually care about how this turns out.

I am not strong enough to simply do this for myself. The possibility of personal pride is not nearly enough to get me through the rough times of this diet. I need to have someone else to let down. I need someone to be disappointed in me, angry with me, or disgusted at my actions if I fail. It also doesn’t hurt to feel like I’ve rewarded someone else if I succeed.

Second, the fortress is built on repetition. I need to create habits, things I do just because I am used to doing them.

That’s how I got fat, actually. I was used to getting three double cheeseburgers and three chicken sandwiches from McDonald’s after work. I was used to ordering the aforementioned mead-lovers pizza from Pizza Hut, or getting bagels and cream cheese for breakfast. And I was used to sitting on my ass and picking lint out of my belly button, and wondering how, exactly, it got there.

But it is also how I succeeded in the 100 days. I got used to going to the gym and eating at the right times. I got used to buying healthy food at the grocery story. And I got used to doing this blog.

I am trying to recreate those habits in order to succeed this time around. And I think that’s where I went wrong last week. I started off herky jerky, not really knowing what to do next. So Friday night, I found myself with nothing to do, in a situation that I had not adapted to habit. How do I treat a boring Friday night alone with no entertainment? I panicked and reverted to my old ways.

I needed to write 1,600 words for Day 7, because I have to get used to doing this every night. No, maybe not to the tune of 1,600 words, but to the tune of coming up with insightful observations that reveal my honest feeling towards this entire process which will, in turn, allow this process to evolve into something successful.

That’s how I build the fortress.