Stop the world, I wanna get off!

By Vince Guerrieri
210 west Managing Editor [send email]

I'm used to a certain amount of insanity, hell, I embrace it, but things have gone too far.

Of course, the big sports news is that just like Jason in the
interminable Friday the 13th series, the hockey season has come back from the dead...And then it promptly died again.

Players and owners were working on an 11th hour deal to bring the season back.

I'm through with hockey. I can't deal with any sport that can't even cancel a goddamn season right!

Jose Canseco said just about everyone has done steroids, so I'm going
to make a confession. I did take steroids while I was playing little
league baseball, but they were for intestinal problems and were in no way performance-enhancing. If they were, I should get my money back...ask anyone who's seen me play.

So, to recap, Jose Canseco confessed to giving various players
steroids, but said he and Madonna never knocked boots, because she's not his type. I dunno, a greedy attention whore? Maybe he just didn't want to follow in Vanilla Ice's footsteps.

Canseco slammed everyone but me in this book...he said that Dubya knew about steroid use but did nothing, which isn't true. I believe he listed it as one of the reasons to invade Iraq.

While we're talking about world events, Secretary of State Condi Rice shared a dais with new Browns coach Romeo Crennel. She said Romeo will "lead the Browns back." Well, she was right about the WMDs...

Reason No. 481 why Art Modell shouldn't get into the Hall of Fame:Not
only did he fire Paul Brown, he also fired Bill Belichick. The last five years have been rough for Browns fans. Twice teams that used
to be in Cleveland won Super Bowls (Ravens and Rams), but Belichick's
won more Super Bowls than the Browns have played in. However, we can take some perverse comfort in the fact that he's won more Super Bowls that Bill Cowher.

The hell with this...I'm going to watch the Daytona 500.