Let them eat sandwiches...and watch the Super Bowl

By Dan Nied [send email]

It is a deluge, really.

How else can you describe the amount of Super Bowl coverage we’ve already seen?

Still six days before the game, the subplots are multiplying like cockroaches in the bowels of the media.

Well, I promise that I will quickly give my opinions on some of these supposed points of interest.

Here we go: Tom Brady vs. Donovan McNabb (Brady, he’s a Michigan man, don’t bet against them. And yes, I believe the Broncos gave up on Brian Griese too soon, but I am looking through Maize and Blue glasses)

Terrell Owens, will he play? (Yes, because he wants to have the amazing rising-from-the-dead story line attached to his legacy.)

Are the Patriots unbeatable? (Yes. They will win, lets just hope they make it close.)

Will Boston fans finally shut up after winning two Super Bowls and a World Series in just over a year? (No, Lord help us, the Curse of Larry Bird is just starting for their beloved Celtics.)

Now on to the real question: what am I going to put on my big sandwich?

See, in the past few years, I’ve developed a new tradition known as the Super Bowl Sandwich (SBS). And yes, I know you’ve seen big sandwiches before, with all the lettuce and tomato filler with that somewhat pitiful mound of meat in the center placed between some sort of granite formation they call bread.

That costs $30.

Mine will cost maybe $15 and yes, it will be built for one. It takes about the entire Super Bowl to get it down, but I get it done every year.

See, there is a secret to the SBS. First, take all the lettuce and tomatoes and whatever else has almost no taste and throw it out the window. The only thing permitted on the SBS is meat, cheese, mustard, mayo. Acceptable auxillary items are limited to pickles, green or black olives, jalapenos and banana peppers. If you put any green or red peppers on, you get a raised eyebrow from the sandwich gods, but we’ll let it slide.

Last year’s Italian delight concoction had something to do with parmesan sourdough bread with a pound of salami, a pound of pepperoni, a quarter pound of that italian ham stuff, a half pound of mozzerella, and a half pound of provelone. There were no condiments or vegetables. It was baked at 400 degrees for a half hour and still, the middle was cold.

Here’s a fun tip, grab a friend Sunday and each make your own SBS, with very different ingredients. Then, when you are done, cut them in half and exchange with your buddy. I must warn, only two people to a sandwich. If your friend doesn’t get both halves done by the end of the game, you have permission to ridicule him mercilessly.

Anyhow, I may be watching the game solo this year, so I can’t depend on a friend to top my SBS. I am thinking about switching from the Italian to the tricky salami, roast beef, turkey, pastrami sandwich to represent different cultures comeing together. Can you imagine Italian, American and Jews combining for the perfect sandwich? I might throw some brisket on there to represent the black community.

And let me ask you this. Do you realize you just read an entire Super Bowl column about sandwiches? You must really love this game.