Ronald Reagan deserves as much respect as any former president. But Chuck Soder says his devotion to wife Nancy makes him an exceptional man.
By Chuck Soder
210 west Writer [send email]
Less than a day after he died, thousands and thousands of personal facts about Ronald Reagan's life surged through media outlets nationwide. To learn about his attitude, his catch phrases or even his movies, one could merely pick up a paper, turn on the TV or type in "Reagan" on any Internet search engine.
Being that I was in the womb when he was inaugurated, I didn't know a lot of the little things about the Gipper until he died Saturday from pneumonia complicated by Alzheimer's disease at age 93. Thanks to the news, I picked up those little things: Much of the media coverage focused on Reagan, the person, not Reagan, the president.
For instance, I didn't know he wore contact lenses. I didn't know he worked alongside a monkey in 1951's Bedtime for Bonzo. I didn't even know that the man who attempted to take his life was merely trying to impress Jodie Foster, the would-be assassin's longtime imaginary girlfriend. I also didn't know that absolutely everybody already knew that.
But, while scanning the sea of timelines and trivia, I found a few facts that showed me why Reagan deserves a level of respect that rivals his popularity.
To see who the real Reagan was, don't look to his quotes, his speeches or the bills he did or didn't sign. Look to the one person who knew him best -- Nancy. It is his relationship with her that best reveals why he should be remembered in honor.
They were inseparable. From his first date with her in 1949 till Alzheimer's made him so weak he couldn't talk, Reagan constantly professed his love for Nancy, who remained by his side until the day he died. They held hands everywhere, kissed in public regularly and intimately, and when Reagan walked out of the White House, Nancy was often waving from her window. However, any time a man in the spotlight shows his affection for his wife, there is always an asterisk attached.
But, in Reagan's case, the asterisk has been removed -- Nancy herself smashed it in 2000, when she published "I Love You, Ronnie: The Letters of Ronald Reagan to Nancy Reagan."
Stashed in a shopping bag for years, Nancy published her collection of holiday cards, love letters and telegrams that show the private side -- the real side -- of our nation's 40th president.
I'd never heard of the book until the flood of Reagan coverage this weekend. But some of the excerpts I read were so emotional that I thought Reagan was in love with me, and I never even met the guy.
Some of them are unabashedly cheesy:
"My Darling," he writes, "[d]o you know that when you sleep you curl your fists up under your chin and many mornings when it is barely dawn I lie facing you and looking at you until finally I have to touch you ever so lightly so you won't wake up -- but touch you I must or I'll burst?"
The guy is totally gaga over his gal. In excerpts, he reveals that, a) Nancy is his greatest love, b) losing her is his greatest fear and c) she is his greatest strength.
"He sits in the Oval Office," Reagan writes, referring to himself in the third person, "[and] he can see (if he scrooches down) [Nancy's] window and feels warm all over just knowing she is there."
The letters span decades, from the time they met until the mid-1990s. As the governor of California, he was her "In Luv Guv," and, during his time in the White House, he signed letters as "Prexy." An online book review at freerepublic.com says that, despite the passing of time, Reagan's tone remains steady.
So did his devotion to his wife, according to a note from their 31st anniversary:
"I told you once, it was like an adolescent's dream of what marriage should be like," Reagan wrote. "That hasn't changed."
She has said "Ronnie" evoked the same emotions in her, and she has backed that statement up with tears. Her compassion is what drove her to be so protective of her husband's privacy once the effects of Alzheimer's confined him to beds and wheelchairs. Even in publishing his letters, she donated the proceeds to the Alzheimer's Foundation and the Ronald Reagan Presidential Foundation.
However, Reagan did have problems. For a while, some of his children resented him for the shadow he cast over them; others loathed his conservative viewpoints. He also had marriage problems -- with his first wife, actress Jane Wyman, who divorced him in 1948.
But, though he made mistakes, he corrected them. He and his children all had reconciled by the mid-1990s. His second marriage made up for his first and then some.
And that is why Reagan deserves to be remembered in honor. Like any other president, his effectiveness will always be debated. But, through his marriage, he proved himself to be a caring human being.
And any such person deserves respect. So, Mr. Reagan, you have mine.