News 2003: What a long strange trip its been

By Vince Guerrieri
210 west Managing Editor [send email]

If you aren’t nervous, you aren’t payin’ attention
--Miles Davis

As we close the books on 2003, the year’s biggest story is still going on.

We are still at war in Iraq. In March, U.S. forces combined with allies from other countries (the Coalition of the Willing, President Bush called it) invaded Iraq. Reasons were murky enough that the United Nations didn’t think the invasion was a good idea.

Saddam helped plan and/or finance Sept. 11? Never proven. He had weapons of mass destruction? Probably, because Lord knows we sold him a bunch in the 1980s. He was a bad guy? Yeah, but probably not the worst.

However, the liberation (or occupation, depending on your political bent) took a little more than six weeks, according to Bush, who said “Mission Accomplished” in May, but fighting continues. Saddam Hussein was captured on Dec. 13, and awaits his fate, which will probably be vastly better than thousands, if not millions, of his countrymen under his reign. Shortly after Saddam’s capture, Libyan strongman Moammar Kaddhafi surrendered his weapons.

All the other stories sort of pale in comparison, but here, in order of importance, are nine more:

2. Who wants to be governor of California?

Gov. Gray Davis was re-elected in November 2002, but a movement gathered steam to recall him, the first gubernatorial recall since the 1920s. A field of 135 candidates emerged. Davis was was recalled, and the new governor is Arnold Schwarzenegger. The world’s fifth-largest economy is in the hands of the man who made “Junior,” “The Sixth Day,” “Collateral Damage” and “The Last Action Hero.” God save the republic.

3. Columbia

For the second time in less than 20 years, seven astronauts and a space shuttle were lost. The space shuttle Columbia disintegrated over Texas on its final descent to Florida on Feb. 1. An investigation revealed that the mission was doomed from the start, as a chunk of insulation ripped into one wing of the shuttle on launch.

4. They’re here, they’re queer, get used to it

2003 was a good year to be gay (I’m not gay…that’s just what I hear). The Episcopal Church consecrated its first openly gay bishop, Massachusetts courts ruled that a ban on gay marriage was against the state constitution, and “Queer Eye For the Straight Guy” became a runaway hit.

Naturally, this was not without backlash. President Bush and many prominent clergy and government leaders came out (pun intended) against gay marriage, culminating in U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum saying in an Associated Press interview that "If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual (gay) sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything."

While it was a good year for gay rights, it was a bad year for do-as-I-say, not-as-I-do pedagogues (again, I’m only telling you what I heard). William Bennett, author of the Book of Virtues, apparently doesn’t consider gambling to be a vice. He blew millions of dollars at casinos in Nevada. Rush Limbaugh, he of the “lock ‘em up and throw away the key” school of thought on drug use, revealed he was addicted to prescription painkillers. He remains under investigation. And as Pope John Paul II celebrated his 25th anniversary as pontiff, the church in America continued to deal with a child abuse scandal. Cardinal Bernard Law of Boston stepped down and the Rev. John Geoghan, the poster boy for pedophile priests, was killed in prison.

5. That’s the night the lights went out in New York City…and Toronto…and Cleveland…and Detroit…

Eight states and parts of Canada lost electrical power on Aug. 14. Fears of a terrorist strike vanished after it was revealed that one of the cities without power was Toledo. No terrorist would waste any time on Toledo. In the end, though, it was that old standby that was to blame: human error. A computer in Northeastern Ohio melted down, thus ensuring at least another decade of Cleveland “Mistake by the Lake” jokes.

6. Natural Disasters

For some real calamities, human error just didn’t cut it. They needed a real act of God. Isabel, a Class 5 hurricane, hit the Mid-Atlantic coast, and California must have made God mad with its variety of natural disasters…wildfires, mudslides and earthquakes (oh my!) combined with Gov. Schwarzenegger, makes me think the end of the world is nigh, and it’ll probably start in the Golden State.

7. SARS

This spring, reports out of Asia talked about an airborne respiratory disease. Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome, or SARS, spread throughout four continents, hitting hardest in Canada, where hospitals were closed down because of it, and Southeast Asia.

More than 8,000 people caught it, but the death toll was kept under 1,000. Once again, Michael Jackson found himself a fashion trendsetter as people started wearing surgical masks in public.

8. Recovery is just around the corner?

The economy seems to be getting better. The Dow Jones industrial average is back up over 10,000, far below its high of more than 12,000, but above the low it reached last year of less than 8,000. Housing starts are up. My mutual funds are starting to turn a profit.

Yep, all in all, it looks like if the economic slump isn’t a thing of the past, it soon will be. Now comes the real question…can President Bush take credit for it? He engineered a $330 billion tax cut program for the next decade, but he’s also presided over the largest budget deficit in American history, less than five years after paying off the national debt was a reachable goal.

9. Can Bush win all 50 states?

Saddam Hussein’s in custody. The economy’s recovering. And the Democrats seem to be reverting back to 1970s form when it comes to running a presidential campaign. No fewer than 11 candidates have expressed an interest in the Democratic nomination for president, from the sublime (Gen. Wesley Clark) to the ridiculous (Al Sharpton). But the front-runner appears to be Howard Dean, the Vermont governor who’s not the darling of labor unions or party bosses (that honor goes to U.S. Rep. Dick Gephardt) but has a grassroots campaign that’s drawing interest and, more importantly, money.

10. All the news that’s fit to…make up?

The New York Times has trumpeted itself for years as the Newspaper of Record for the United States. Then Jayson Blair came along.

Blair, a wunderkind on the national desk, apparently plagiarized a story from a Texas newspaper (written, ironically, by one of his former fellow interns), leading to an investigation that determined he fabricated and plagiarized parts of the biggest stories he covered (e.g. the D.C. Sniper, Jessica Lynch). Blair left the Times, but got a book deal for his story, which he will call “Burning Down My Master’s House.” Blair is black.
The shakeup saw Editor in Chief Howell Raines and another editor, Gerald Boyd, leave after it was revealed that they knew of his less than stellar record but kept promoting him. The scandal also revitalized the affirmative action argument, as some said that a 27-year-old had no business on the national desk of the New York Times.