Check out the next four entries to see what we valued in the last year. Or just click this link to find out why we did it.
Hey it's the last day of 2003 and 210 West Magazine is six months old. Happy half birthday to us! But it is the last 12 months that we are dealing with today. Sure, we could have gotten out our year-end news, sports and pop culture lists two weeks ago like every other publication, but then what about that action packed week after Christmas? Now we can cover that. So here we give you, in the next four selections below this, our views on the movies, music, news and sports that gave 2003 an identity.
-- Dan Nied
210 West Magazine Editor-In-Chief
Dan Nied can't get enough of the Kobe case, or the Ted Williams case, or the Larry Eustachy case, or the Mike Price case or...
Hey a lot happened this year in Sports. This can get kind of long, and since you've probably already read about 700 lists like this, We'll get right to it.
The biggest
1. Kobe hits the wrong hole
No one really knows what happened, but everyone agrees it wasn’t good. What we do know is that Lakers guard Kobe Bryant had sex with a woman other than his wife. But we aren’t sure if the woman, well, wanted it. This story has some clutch carry over appeal as it will almost certainly be on our 2004 list. Check it out next year for the exciting conclusion. Can the Lakers stop fighting like 12-year old girls long enough to win a championship? Will Kobe get the Clockwork Orange treatment after his conviction? Will the judge ever stop looking surprised? It’ll play out in Colorado next year.
2. LeBron takes on the world
He had $90 million in endorsements before his opening tip in the NBA, but then he came out and delivered. Through 29 games the phenom averaged 19.2 ppg, 6.2 apg and 6.0 rpg.
3. BoSox/Cubs fail again
Steve Bartman and Grady Little made sure of this one. Bartman, a Cubs superfan complete with turtle neck and transistor radio, went for a foul ball that left fielder Moises Alou had his sights on in the NLCS. Bartman got a hand on it first and seared his name and nerdly image into the minds of vindictive Cubs supporters for years to come. As for Little. Well, when he left a gassed Pedro Martinez in to face the Yabkees in the eighth inning of the seventh game of the ALCS all of New England Hyperventilated. Sure enough, Pedro blew a 5-2 lead and the Yankees went on to win in extra innings.
4.Clarett in it for the cash
What? Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett didn’t go to class? The heck you say. Clarett allegedly walked out of a midterm midway because, according to the professor, he didn’t know a thing. But it pays to be the star of a national championship team. The professor gave him an oral makeup exam, which he passed. We hear he got a B just for spelling C-L-A-R-E-T-T. Everything else was cream cheese.
5.BCS drops the C
It isn’t that the BCS got their championship match up wrong. It’s that no one knows if they got it right. LSU, USC and Oklahoma each finished the year with one loss, but USC finished on top in both the coaches and the media polls. Still, the BCS computed that the Sooners and Tigers strap it on for the national championship in the Sugar Bowl Jan. 3. while the Trojans have to settle for facing lowly No. 4 Michigan and complaining that they got screwed out of the Sears Trophy.
Honorable Mention: Gruden beats old team for Super Bowl win, Bekham traded to Real Madrid, Fans Tune out NBA Finals, Devils win third Stanley Cup, Lakers reload with Mailman and Payton for championship run
Best Stories
1.MAC beats up on BCS teams
It all started when Mid-American patsy Northern Illinois shocked a highly ranked Maryland team to open the season. It continued when Bowling Green beat then No. 16 Purdue. Then in arguably the greatest weekend any conference has ever had, NIU beats Alabama, Bowling Green gives defending national champ Ohio State a scare, Toledo rocks Pittsburgh and Marshall KO’s No. 5 Kansas State, vaulting the MAC onto the radar. The MAC nearly caused a major controversy until these teams all beat up on each other in the conference season. In the end, only Miami (OH) came out untarnished with only one loss. And that was to Iowa, which didn’t really help the cause at all. Bowling Green is the only other MAC team to go to a bowl (They beat Northwestern 28-24 in the Motor City Bowl) while NIU, Toledo and Marshall wonder why a conference this good gets only two bowl bids.
2.McKeon takes Marlins to promised land
When Jack McKeon took over as manager for the Florida Marlins for the fired Jeff Torborg in May, the critics said the ancient skipper was too old to relate to the hip hop lifestyle of today’s players. But, it turns out, baseball knowledge still counts for something. In this case McKeon turned a rag tag bunch of kids into a World Series winning machine. Kinda like the Walter Mathau to a group of Millionaire Bad News Bears.
3.Armstrong wins fifth Tour de France
What can you say about a cancer survivor who wins the world’s toughest bike race five straight times? Well, He’s good. Is there anything else?
4.No names win PGA’s finest
Finally, it wasn’t the Year of the Tiger. Instead Woods delt with a “slump” while four new guys picked up the slack in the majors. Ben Curtis took the British Open, Jim Furyk nabbed the U.S. Open, Shaun Micheel went home with the PGA Championship title and Mike Weir handled the field in the Masters. Meanwhile, Phil Mickelson thought about switching to the right side and David Duval wondered how he could get back to the status of greats like John Daly.
5.Ohio State upset ‘Canes for National Championship.
It may have been the greatest college football game of all time. The Buckeyes had barely made it through the regular season unscathed, but somehow ended up 13-0 going into the Fiesta Bowl against a mighty Miami Hurricane team. Ohio State kept it close and, with the benefit of a controversial pass interference call, managed to get the win, 31-24.
Honorable Mention: Old time Oilers/Canadiens skate one last time at Heritage Classic, Ducks get “Jiggy” with it, Carmello gives Boeheim amazing gift, Klitchko nearly defeats Lewis, Detroit Shock: from worst to first in WNBA,
The worst of the worst
1.Ted Williams cracks his skull
Williams’ son, John Henry, decided that the best thing for Dad after death was to have him frozen, decapitated and put in an aluminum can until they could find a cure for whatever killed the Splendid Splinter. But no one really thought of the fact that Williams was fucking miserable in his last days. What killed him was being old, senile, decrepit and crabby. So, when he gets woken up in a few hundred years, he won’t know where he is, he’ll be pissed off and he’ll either die again in a few days or live miserable until the world explodes. That’s what you get when you have a fucking moron for a son.
2.Coaches gone Wild
Just so you know, we wrote this headline BEFORE ESPN The Magazine came out with the same title. We aren’t changing it. But, that does tell us that we should be working for ESPN. Anyway, Alabama football coach Mike Price found love with strippers, Iowa State basketball coach Larry Eustachy found love with a can of Natty Lite and a chubby coed and Washington football coach Rick Neuheisel found love with an NCAA tournament bracket. All were fired. All gave us some good laughs. Price was just hired to coach at UTEP, Eustachy is on step 7 of Alcoholics Anonymous and Neuheisel put in some quality time coaching at a high school. Reportedly, money is tight so he is in favor of an NCAA Division 1-A football playoff.
3.Joe Horn Dials up, and we can’t stop talking.
We aren’t appalled that New Orleans Saints’ receiver Joe Horn hid a cell phone underneath a goal post cushion for an end zone celebration. We can’t believe that every asshole who thinks Horn violated the integrity of the game won’t stop talking about it. Maybe if you’d shut the fuck up, stop calling talk shows to complain and make “Joe Horn” a household name, no one would do it again.
4.Baseball cons fans with Steroid policy
The schedule for next year just came out. Sammy Sosa is up for random testing just after his next cycle ends.
5.Bliss tries to frame murdered player
Baylor basketball coach Dave Bliss really is a prick. One of his players, Patrick Dennehy is murdered, which means a police investigation, which means that someone is going to uncover some violations in Bliss’program so Bliss decides to make a squeaky clean Dennehy look like a drug dealer to cover up. Seriously. What a dick. By the way, Bliss is coaching a high school team now.
Honorable Mention: Nebraska Football player clocks Missouri fan, Hockey Dad sues for $50,000 because he doesn’t like his son’s team, Millen calls former player a “faggot”, Tigers challenge for single season futility mark.
We’ll Miss you
1.Michael Jordan
Jordan’s third retirement barely registered in the sporting world. After all, how many times can you meaningfully look back on a man’s career? But he is still one of the top three athletes of the last 100 years and that doesn’t come around very often.
2.Pete Sampras
He WAS a role model. Tennis’ golden boy spent his career doing the only thing that is universally respected: winning. He never spilled over onto the blotter page, he never had any drunken fights. His rivalry with Andre Agasi was a distinctly American experience for all involved. For the time he was around, Pete Sampras quietly represented everything we hold dear to Sports in this country.
3.Herb Brooks
When the coach of the Miracle on Ice died in a one car crash this year, Everyone lost a part of Americana. Brooks may not have been flashy, but dammit, he orchestrated the greatest moment in American Sports. That’s got to be worth something right? It is.
4.Otto Graham
He was tough as nails and an amazing passer. The old Browns quarterback played the star in a football dynasty in the middle of the 1900s. It is sad, then, that George Steinbrenner got more attention for fainting at Graham’s funeral than Graham did for being a wonderful man.
5.Warren Spahn
There was a certain grace about the hall of fame pitcher. Those who knew him said that he appreciated the game, but knew that’s all baseball was: a game. His game was devoid of headhunting and he shrugged off losses with enviable ease. It is fitting that his plaque hangs in Cooperstown.
Erik Pepple is nothing if not a pop culture dork. But that's part of his charm, becasue he's pretty much always right. For your viewing and listening pleasure, he lists his best and worst of 2003.
By Erik Pepple
210 west Pop Culture Editor [send email]
While The Return of the King continues its march to box office history, it’s safe to say as far as movies go, 2003 was the year of Peter Jackson’s visionary epic. While I’m not much of a fan of the films (I respect them more than I actively like them), I do understand the enthusiasm that surrounds them. Jackson has put together an epic in scope and vision the likes of which Hollywood hasn’t attempted since the salad days of David Lean. And as a Peter Jackson fan from his earliest work (Meet the Feebles, Dead Alive), it’s nice to see such a unique talent given his due.
But what of the rest of 2003’s movies? You know the ones that didn’t have hobbits or wizards.
Generally this was a reasonably strong year for film, so much so that in the last few months I was starting to feel like a bit of a hack inasmuch as the bulk of the movies I’d seen had all had something entertaining or enlightening about them. Whether it was the top-shelf, old Hollywood professionalism of Cold Mountain or the genuinely brilliant Kill Bill the last few months have seen the film industry spitting out a solid assortment of quality pictures. And it’s not just the art house stuff that has been making an impression; studio pictures like The School of Rock and Matchstick Men were uncommonly intelligent and well-crafted entertainments. It’s a marked contrast from a year that began with the reprehensible Bringing Down the House and the inane, inert League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. And sure, the last few months have seen an abundance of junk (The Cat in the Hat, for starters. For evil, evil starters), but the odds of seeing a decent movie has been pretty solid since mid-September.
The list that follows is by no means complete. Thus far eagerly anticipated pictures such as Big Fish, 21 Grams, The Triplets of Belleville, Melvin Goes to Dinner, Bus 174, House of Sand and Fog, and so on and so forth have yet to see wide enough release to meet 210 West’s deadline.
Qualifiers out of the way here’s a look at some of the best and worst movies of the year.
BEST
1.Lost in Translation—
Sofia Coppola’s beautifully subtle, remarkably touching almost-romance features a pair of masterful performances by Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansen. This quiet, dreamlike meditation about displacements both cultural and romantic is attracting a backlash from those who think it’s too slight to be deeply moving. But the quiet almost seems to be the point, this is a small movie about the grand importance of tiny gestures be it a kiss or shared joke.
2.Kill Bill, Vol. 1
The thematic opposite of Translation’s calm, is Tarantino’s effusive, blood-soaked homage to the grindhouse. Uma Thurman is The Bride, an action hero whose stoicism is firmly in league with icons like Eastwood’s Man With No Name. The movie would be successful as a purely kinetic action piece, but Tarantino’s writing and structuring of this material is so controlled and well-thought out that it becomes a piece of luridly stunning pop art. Some of the best action sequences of any picture this year, with the confrontation at the House of Blue Leaves as balletic and gracefully violent as the best of John Woo or the Shaw Brothers.
3.Mystic River
Clint Eastwood’s enormously affecting drama is superficially a murder mystery that through the remarkable performances by Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, Kevin Bacon and Laurence Fishburne becomes an operatic meditation on the nature and cycle of violence and how it brutally perpetuates itself from generation to generation.
4.School of Rock
The bulk of Richard Linklater’s work has been about how people (especially the young) formulate and create identity, and while School of Rock continues this theme, it does so in the guise of big-studio comedy. Resisting formula every step of the way, Linklater’s hugely entertaining comedy is a slyly subversive treatise on the idea that the inherent rebellion and life-affirming force of the best rock and roll is slowly being bled out of future generations. And while Jack Black has been playing a variation on his character (average Joe cum rock star/enthusiast) for years; he’s never been more alive or joyous. A performance that begs comparison to greatest moments of John Belushi.
5.American Splendor
In their feature film debut, documentary filmmakers Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini craft an elegant and structurally innovative (fictional characters mingle with non-fictional ones, cartoons mingle with live action, with every character breaking the fourth wall) biopic about comics writer Harvey Pekar. Paul Giamatti gives a career-best performance as the vitriolic misanthrope; a man who just wants to be left alone. The ultimate irony of the movie is that by the end it reveals its grumpy hero as a closet optimist; miserable only because he expects the best of humanity and perpetually sees it following the worst of its impulses.
6.Finding Nemo
After triumphing with the Toy Story series and Monsters, Inc. Pixar Animation Studios finally drives a welcome nail into the increasingly cynical and lifeless Disney animation coffin. Ironically, Disney releases Pixar’s movies, regardless; Nemo is a work of genuine wit and warmth.
7.Shattered Glass
Somehow writer/director Billy Ray’s exciting, smart look at infamous fabulist Stephen Glass has been getting lost in the shuffle of year-end pictures. Told as cleanly and to the point as a well-written news feature, Shattered Glass offers a sobering indictment of a culture that clamors more for a well-told lie than a well-told truth. Hayden Christensen’s (Anakin in the Star Wars prequels) performance is as close to a revelation as performances get and Peter Saarsgard gives one of the year’s most stunning performances, making his characters’ gradual implosion in the face of Glass’ lies palatable and very moving.
8. The Weather Underground
Sam Green’s first-rate documentary is a powerful, empathetic, but unforgiving look at one of America’s most notorious radical groups. Asking whether or not violence is justified in the pursuit of a cause, the film may focus on the 1960s, but its questions and ideas echo throughout history up to and including the present day.
9. 28 Days Later
Danny Boyle’s (Trainspotting) ruthless horror film is a rare bird. Like many of the horror and sci-fi flicks of the 1970s, 28 Days Later doesn’t find its terror in the shock of marauding zombies and slash and hack murder, but in the prospect of isolation. This is a horror film about being adrift and hopelessly lost without a future or a chance for a future. Brutal and relentless, 28 Days Later is one of the best horror films of recent years.
10. Old School
Yeah, that’s right, this is one of the year’s best films. Yes, it’s about as ramshackle and rickety as a movie can be, but no movie this year had as many laughs or as deeply a surreal performance as that of Will Ferrell as Frank the Tank. Like pornography, comedy is as subjective as anything, and Old School made me laugh harder and more frequently than any movie this year.
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Matchstick Men
Ridley Scott’s diamond-sharp comic thriller was a quiet character study in the guise of a con-artist picture. Nicolas Cage gives one of his best performances, Sam Rockwell follows up his peerless work in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind with another fine performance, and Alison Lohman establishes herself as one of Hollywood’s most gifted young actresses.
A Mighty Wind
Christopher Guest’s and Eugene Levy’s humane, bittersweet look at the fading glory of 60s folk groups is not as biting as Waiting for Guffman or Best in Show, but instead is a sweet story about recapturing lost love and former glories. It rests squarely on the shoulders of Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara’s brilliant work; two of the finest performances of the year.
Cold Mountain
Anthony Mingehella’s Oscar-bait has got its faults, but on the whole this is a big, heart on its sleeve epic from the old school of Hollywood. Strong performances, outstanding photography, and a stirring sense of scope, this is the Odyssey by way of the Civil War and its works most effectively.
May
The year’s most original horror films is this weird hybrid of Carrie and Frankenstein and Cronenbergian dread. Much like the recent, and equally ignored Dog Soldiers and Ginger Snaps, this is a quirky, one-of-a-kind horror movie that deserved a much larger audience.
MUSIC
The past year in music is going to be considered a year of loss.
With the record industry continuing it’s crowing about losing profits to kids in dorm rooms downloading the latest 50 Cent single, the music world lost three of its leading talents from three separate generations.
Johnny Cash passed away on September 12, leaving behind a legacy that has influenced everyone from Springsteen to Wyclef Jean to Dylan to such relative unknowns as The Silver Jews. His work was that of the greatest in the folk traditions-stories about outlaws, the misunderstood, drunks, whores, cons, God, and the meek. Cash has always been more rock and roll than country and his legacy will continue to infuse generations in both genres to come.
Warren Zevon’s death was expected; he had been dying of cancer for nearly a year. But in that year he wrote and recorded a strong album, The Wind, of his typically acidic, but secretly optimistic rock. As a chronicler of the excess of mid-70’s Los Angeles, Zevon’s blunt and dark humor made him not only one of America’s best songwriters, but one of its foremost satirists as well.
Of all the deaths this year, none was more unexpected than Elliot Smith’s suicide. Best known for his Oscar nominated song, “Miss Misery,” Smith was a talent whose ambition and gifts for melody and structure are peerless. Unfortunately he was as known for his depression and trouble with drugs as he was for his songs, and the most tragic thing about his death is that for as shocking as it was, somewhere his fans could feel it coming. Smith’s passing is an enormous loss to the rock world, he was writer with a vision and scope that few possess and to compare his best work to Lennon/McCartney or Alex Chilton would not be hyperbole.
The following best of list are the thoughts of one man. It is subjective and filled with the traditional overwriting so common to those who write about pop music. But if we can’t celebrate with wordiness at the end of the year, well then, when can we, I ask?
THE BEST
1. The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow (Sub Pop)—The challenge to follow-up their 2001 debut (Oh, Inverted World) had to have been daunting as World is widely considered one of the most beloved indie records of recent years. The Shins faced almost impossible expectations. The fact that they not only met, but surpassed them speaks volumes about frontman James Mercer’s remarkable songwriting gifts. The Shins utilize their broad grasp of pop and rock history and create music that is both forward thinking and timeless.
2. Crooked Fingers – Red Devil Dawn (Merge)—Chief Crooked Finger, Eric Bachman is unnervingly talented. His work with Crooked Fingers has been consistent and close to brilliant for the last few years, but with Red Devil Dawn he reaches a graceful, but haggard peak. With tunes that document the down and out as empathetically, poetically, and booze-soaked as the best Bruce Springsteen, Tom Waits, and Shane MacGowan songs. Red Devil Dawn is the year’s most heartbreaking and touching release.
3. Guided by Voices – Earthquake Glue (Matador)—Indie stalwarts GBV continue to put out three minute pop songs that have all the sweep of the Beatles and The Who, and Earthquake Glue continues to offer evidence that Robert Pollard has more than earned his place at the bar with finest songwriters in rock and roll. With tracks as stirring “The Best of Jill Hives” and “My Kind of Soldier,” it seems that Pollard and company have an almost endless supply of greatness in them.
4. M. Ward – The Transfiguration of Vincent (Merge)—One of the year’s most surprisingly powerful releases is this bluesy, heart-tugging song cycle. Combining the sepia tones of Tom Waits and the pop sensibilities of Lennon and McCartney, Ward is an overlooked talent. Bonus points for a cover version of “Let’s Dance” that somehow tops Bowie’s original.
5. OutKast – Speakerboxxx/The Love Below (Arista)—Big. Messy. Ambitious. Sprawling. Sexy. Brilliant. Those are just a few words to describe this flawed, but utterly ingenious masterpiece. As far as syntheses of pop, rock, rap, hip-hop, psychedelia, jazz and funk go, this is the first record in contemporary R & B to earn rightful comparison to Prince’s masterwork, Sign O’ the Times. That it contains “Hey Ya!” the year’s most buoyant and ubiquitous single is just a bonus.
6. Pernice Brothers – Yours, Mine, and Ours (Ashmont)—Joe Pernice’s gorgeously despondent songwriting continues to grow lusher and more ambitious with each release. His beguiling hybrid of Elvis Costello, the Smiths, and Bacharach is a complete original. This is as literate and intelligent as pop songwriting comes.
7. Joe Strummer & the Mescaleros – Streetcore (Epitaph)—Maybe it’s nostalgia for Joe Strummer. Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s the fact that Strummer’s final record with the Mescaleros is his strongest post-Clash work. Rooted in the rock of the 50s and 60s, this is a record also informed by Motown, reggae, dub, rap, and the street-level poetics of Strummer himself; a songwriter with a heart and empathy that few of his peers will ever match.
8. My Morning Jacket – It Still Moves (ATO)—Sounding like The Band produced by Brian Wilson, My Morning Jacket creates some of the lushest, most accomplished rock and roll in contemporary music. Bolstered by vocalist Jim James’ remarkably versatile voice, It Still Moves is a major label debut that loses none of the quirks of their indie past, but expands and develops them into a force of their own.
9. Andrew Bird – Weather Systems (Righteous Babe)—Long dismissed as “that violinist with the Squirrel Nut Zippers,” Andrew Bird is establishing himself as one of the most idiosyncratic voices in rock and pop. This is not quite the whirling dervish of genius that his last record (The Swimming Hour) was, but is still a thoroughly original work that seems to live and breathe in its own little niche of cabaret pop.
10. New Pornographers – Electric Version (Matador)—While not quite the statement I originally thought it was upon first listen, Electric Version is still a solid piece of power pop with its strongest moments (“The Laws Have Changed” “All for Swinging you Around”) making you once again believe in the power of the 3 minute pop song.
Honorable Mention: Beth Gibbons & Rustin Man- Out of Season, Aesop Rock-Bazooka Tooth, The Joggers-Solid Guild
WORST OF THE YEAR
Black Eyed Peas-Where is the Love?
Daryl Worley-Have you Forgotten?
Compiling a worst of the year in records list seems a bit pointless. Why bother clogging it with the usual suspects (the Jessica Simpson record blew? What a surprise!), when you can take the time to point out the year’s two most nauseating and inept tunes?
In an incident of surprising symmetry both the Black Eyed Peas’ “Where is the Love” and Worley’s “Have you Forgotten” made the shitlist. Both were written in response to the state of contemporary American politics and culture. Both ask simple questions. One begs for patience and peace the other begs for heads on platters. Both are simplistic works of jargon, hitting the same rote notes, and offering up insights about as deep as thimbles. So consider it a sign of 210 West’s journalistic balance that we’re singling out for scorn a piece of liberal pap and an unabashed ode to ignorant, knee-jerk conservative jingoism.
Editor's note: While Erik Pepple is the pop culture editor for 210 West, he also dabbles in some freelance work for a fine site called Spoiczine.com. We sort of share him. He's just that damn good. However, he is also a little bit lazy. Because of that, he submitted the same year-end lists to both sites. So these were originally run on that fine webzinbe sponiczine.com, which we at 210 West recommend you check out.
210 West news editor Vince Gurrrieri saw it all from his media post in Pittsburgh. It wasn't all good. Here, he shares with you.
By Vince Guerrieri
210 west Managing Editor [send email]
If you aren’t nervous, you aren’t payin’ attention
--Miles Davis
As we close the books on 2003, the year’s biggest story is still going on.
We are still at war in Iraq. In March, U.S. forces combined with allies from other countries (the Coalition of the Willing, President Bush called it) invaded Iraq. Reasons were murky enough that the United Nations didn’t think the invasion was a good idea.
Saddam helped plan and/or finance Sept. 11? Never proven. He had weapons of mass destruction? Probably, because Lord knows we sold him a bunch in the 1980s. He was a bad guy? Yeah, but probably not the worst.
However, the liberation (or occupation, depending on your political bent) took a little more than six weeks, according to Bush, who said “Mission Accomplished” in May, but fighting continues. Saddam Hussein was captured on Dec. 13, and awaits his fate, which will probably be vastly better than thousands, if not millions, of his countrymen under his reign. Shortly after Saddam’s capture, Libyan strongman Moammar Kaddhafi surrendered his weapons.
All the other stories sort of pale in comparison, but here, in order of importance, are nine more:
2. Who wants to be governor of California?
Gov. Gray Davis was re-elected in November 2002, but a movement gathered steam to recall him, the first gubernatorial recall since the 1920s. A field of 135 candidates emerged. Davis was was recalled, and the new governor is Arnold Schwarzenegger. The world’s fifth-largest economy is in the hands of the man who made “Junior,” “The Sixth Day,” “Collateral Damage” and “The Last Action Hero.” God save the republic.
3. Columbia
For the second time in less than 20 years, seven astronauts and a space shuttle were lost. The space shuttle Columbia disintegrated over Texas on its final descent to Florida on Feb. 1. An investigation revealed that the mission was doomed from the start, as a chunk of insulation ripped into one wing of the shuttle on launch.
4. They’re here, they’re queer, get used to it
2003 was a good year to be gay (I’m not gay…that’s just what I hear). The Episcopal Church consecrated its first openly gay bishop, Massachusetts courts ruled that a ban on gay marriage was against the state constitution, and “Queer Eye For the Straight Guy” became a runaway hit.
Naturally, this was not without backlash. President Bush and many prominent clergy and government leaders came out (pun intended) against gay marriage, culminating in U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum saying in an Associated Press interview that "If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual (gay) sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything."
While it was a good year for gay rights, it was a bad year for do-as-I-say, not-as-I-do pedagogues (again, I’m only telling you what I heard). William Bennett, author of the Book of Virtues, apparently doesn’t consider gambling to be a vice. He blew millions of dollars at casinos in Nevada. Rush Limbaugh, he of the “lock ‘em up and throw away the key” school of thought on drug use, revealed he was addicted to prescription painkillers. He remains under investigation. And as Pope John Paul II celebrated his 25th anniversary as pontiff, the church in America continued to deal with a child abuse scandal. Cardinal Bernard Law of Boston stepped down and the Rev. John Geoghan, the poster boy for pedophile priests, was killed in prison.
5. That’s the night the lights went out in New York City…and Toronto…and Cleveland…and Detroit…
Eight states and parts of Canada lost electrical power on Aug. 14. Fears of a terrorist strike vanished after it was revealed that one of the cities without power was Toledo. No terrorist would waste any time on Toledo. In the end, though, it was that old standby that was to blame: human error. A computer in Northeastern Ohio melted down, thus ensuring at least another decade of Cleveland “Mistake by the Lake” jokes.
6. Natural Disasters
For some real calamities, human error just didn’t cut it. They needed a real act of God. Isabel, a Class 5 hurricane, hit the Mid-Atlantic coast, and California must have made God mad with its variety of natural disasters…wildfires, mudslides and earthquakes (oh my!) combined with Gov. Schwarzenegger, makes me think the end of the world is nigh, and it’ll probably start in the Golden State.
7. SARS
This spring, reports out of Asia talked about an airborne respiratory disease. Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome, or SARS, spread throughout four continents, hitting hardest in Canada, where hospitals were closed down because of it, and Southeast Asia.
More than 8,000 people caught it, but the death toll was kept under 1,000. Once again, Michael Jackson found himself a fashion trendsetter as people started wearing surgical masks in public.
8. Recovery is just around the corner?
The economy seems to be getting better. The Dow Jones industrial average is back up over 10,000, far below its high of more than 12,000, but above the low it reached last year of less than 8,000. Housing starts are up. My mutual funds are starting to turn a profit.
Yep, all in all, it looks like if the economic slump isn’t a thing of the past, it soon will be. Now comes the real question…can President Bush take credit for it? He engineered a $330 billion tax cut program for the next decade, but he’s also presided over the largest budget deficit in American history, less than five years after paying off the national debt was a reachable goal.
9. Can Bush win all 50 states?
Saddam Hussein’s in custody. The economy’s recovering. And the Democrats seem to be reverting back to 1970s form when it comes to running a presidential campaign. No fewer than 11 candidates have expressed an interest in the Democratic nomination for president, from the sublime (Gen. Wesley Clark) to the ridiculous (Al Sharpton). But the front-runner appears to be Howard Dean, the Vermont governor who’s not the darling of labor unions or party bosses (that honor goes to U.S. Rep. Dick Gephardt) but has a grassroots campaign that’s drawing interest and, more importantly, money.
10. All the news that’s fit to…make up?
The New York Times has trumpeted itself for years as the Newspaper of Record for the United States. Then Jayson Blair came along.
Blair, a wunderkind on the national desk, apparently plagiarized a story from a Texas newspaper (written, ironically, by one of his former fellow interns), leading to an investigation that determined he fabricated and plagiarized parts of the biggest stories he covered (e.g. the D.C. Sniper, Jessica Lynch). Blair left the Times, but got a book deal for his story, which he will call “Burning Down My Master’s House.” Blair is black.
The shakeup saw Editor in Chief Howell Raines and another editor, Gerald Boyd, leave after it was revealed that they knew of his less than stellar record but kept promoting him. The scandal also revitalized the affirmative action argument, as some said that a 27-year-old had no business on the national desk of the New York Times.
Natalie Miller-Moore kept an eye on the pop culture buzz in 2003 and came up with 10 amazing developments that had her clamoring for more... or less.
By Natalie Miller
210 west Content Editor [send email]
In 2003 America looked outward, as opposed to 2002 when they looked more inward after national tragedy. Our attention was drawn outward to serious topics, such as the American war in Iraq, SARS and North Korea's antics. But in sharp contrast to those stories, we distracted ourselves with lighter fare. Here are the top 10 entertainment stories of 2003.
1. Michael Jackson:
For topping all celebrity coverage, Michael Jackson is the King himself.
Who could have predicted 20 years ago, that one of the first omni-celebrities would be on a downward spiral of such incredible strangeness? With some of the best-selling albums ever and a strong worldwide following, Michael Jackson's name was synonymous with "bad," but in a good way. He was called a musical genius and a pop culture icon. Now his career is fading, and he’s a freak and suspected pedophile. Even his longtime fans have backed off because Jackson is truly unpredictable.
Who didn’t know he was beyond freakish after that interview with the British journalist, covering his children’s faces with masks and hanging the baby over the balcony. Anyone with two synapses could have foreseen more scandal ahead for this man-child.
This entertainment story broke late in the year, and will undoubtedly be a hot topic for 2004 as the allegations are defended and criticized in the courts and in the media. To quote the king: "Who said this wouldn't last?"
2. Celebrity Couple overload
Ben and J Lo: This couple’s publicity level reached a fever pitch this summer, with their impending nuptials being front cover news everywhere. Maybe the country just needed the beautiful and intriguing distraction of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. These two, with the apt moniker “Bennifer,” can’t be that mesmerizing…can they? And by the end of 2003, the ruckus had died down, although the two of them seemed to still be dating, as evidenced by their attendance at a Red Sox playoff game.
Gwyneth and Coldplay guy
Could the public obsess a bit less about how Gwyneth Paltrow’s vulnerable from her father’s death and seeking solace in the arms of Brit Rocker Chris Martin. But could they get some privacy? From their jaunts to yoga and out for coffee to their baby on the way and their secretive wedding, this couple can’t get any peace.
Jennifer Garner and whats-his-name
Yet another celebrity couple gone bust because one’s career took off and the other’s, well, wasn’t helped by sitcom “A.U.S.A.” Ever heard of it? Didn’t think so. But you gotta feel a bit sorry for ol’ Scott Foley. His wife, formerly a bit player in “Dude, Where’s My Car?” transformed into a hot, tough TV action star pretty much overnight, and he’s still looking bewildered. But, he had a few cameos on “Scrubs,” that should get him by for a little while.
Liza Minnelli and David Gest
Most people Gen X and past have no idea why Liza Minnelli is famous. Apparently she has famous parents and starred in some old movies or on Broadway. Anyhoo, even we can tell that a man with a plasticized face will probably not make a great lover. Although, with Michael Jackson in the wedding party, maybe Liza wasn't getting great advice. The allegations about her abuse still stand, but seem to have faded from public interest. If these two were better looking or had more sex appeal, the public might still be interested in this twisted domestic arrangement that may never have been consumated. But as it is now, it's easy to see why.
Demi and Ashton
Smart Demi Moore breaks back onto the scene with a hip “it” boy toy, which is the perfect way to publicize her new movie. In a brilliant summer publicity barrage, the Demi-Ashton coupling got buzz for the age difference and the premiere with the lovably gruff Bruce Willis in tow. This is a stunt that turned out to maybe not be a stunt after all, but stay tuned in ’04.
3. Matrix and Lord of the Rings finish trilogies
2003 was a year of conclusions for two of the largest movie franchises in recent years. But one finished up, the other down…The Matrix Revolutions was a letdown to many, especially with the strange unsettled ending. People need closure, and that’s what they got in the last installment of Lord of the Rings. A nice long wrap up of what happens to each character, from Frodo to Arwen. Maybe that was a tad long, but after the anxiety-filled march to Mordor for the hobbits, it was necessary to soothe the audience that good had indeed triumphed.
Although the Matrix followed a similar plot of good vs. evil, it became a tangled web of subplots and loose ends. Very little of the third movie occurs in the Matrix, and the questions of Agent Smith’s motives becomes clouded with the introduction of the being in the machine. It is never explained as to why it gives in to Neo or what happens with the people who are released from the Matrix, a key element for closure.
4. Disney Wins Big
Finding Nemo: you gotta love this modern take on perennial issues such as parenting, courage and friendship for its classic story, spunk and humor. Too bad people didn’t take the message of artificial containment seriously, but instead went out and bought clown fish by the dozen. Hello?
Pirates of the Caribbean: Pirates were hot in 2003, from the elusive ones in Master and Commander to this smash hit for Disney based on their theme park. The movie gets it panache from Johnny Depp, there is no contest. His lovable rogue character from other movies, carries over to this flick. The inclusion of up and coming stars Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley provide the eye candy for both sexes. See review on 210west.
5. Kooky Men Rock
Elf and School of Rock were two of the most fun, laugh all the way to the parking lot movies this year, followed by Stuck on You, which was just wacky fun. First, Elf and School of Rock have a central funny man who knows how to use physical comedy. So I’m not sure the vehicle even matters. Jack Black rocks from SNL to Saving Silverman to High Fidelity. How could he not rock in a movie called School of Rock? It doesn’t even seem like acting, this character that he plays who loves music and is wildly self-assured. The kids and the non-fluffy script give the movie the pump it needs.
6. Love at the Movies, Actually.
Top Chick Flicks of 2003
Bend it Like Beckham: I knew I would love this movie, because a) it’s about girls playing soccer and b) it’s English and c) there’s the time honored culture/generation clash that most people can relate to. But, despite the easy-to-see plot conflict, there are several very funny scenes, good characters to root for and against and complicated personal relationships. It’s well done, thoughtful and there’s enough action for a bloke to even enjoy it. Stars Parminder Nagra and Keira Knightly entered the Hollywood scene with this film, with Nagra now on ER and Knightly landing a plum role in Pirates of the Caribbean (see above).
Love Actually: OK, so it’s hard to see simulated sex scenes while at the theater with your entire family for Thanksgiving. But despite that, this movie was perfect for depth and variety about love in all its shapes and sizes. Recovering love, desperate love, unrequited love, love despite language barriers, complicated love, family bond love – it’s all there. So it’s not just about true mushy romance, although there is some of that. It’s a movie that speaks of hope and the endurance of love despite our mixed up modern lives. And I appreciate that during the holidays – lay off the schmaltz, give me the good stuff. Damn that Keira Knightley, she’s everywhere!
OK, well not in Mona Lisa Smile, but she could have been if she had room on her calendar. Critics panned this 1950’s era chick flick, but it’s unclear where their expectations where coming from. They said it wasn’t inspirational enough, but I thought it was appropriately complex. They said the message was too flat and just a platitude, but the ending is a multitude of choices for women. The idea that it’s a Dead Poets Society for women has some credence. Both elite men and women have socially assigned roles they are expected to fill, and a great teacher can give them the motivation or contrast to examine them. Despite criticism, this is a likable and relevant movie. The women in the movie who are not the leads give depth to the variety of women’s roles: the boarding house spinster who teaches poise, the lesbian school nurse who dispenses contraception and the society grand dame who sends her daughter back to her empty house while her husband is out carousing. Even Julia Roberts’ Kate Watson has no clearly defined path, and it doesn’t end with her making the “right” decision. Highlighting the movie are new young stars Maggie Gyllenhaal and Ginnifer Goodwin, plus the already hot Julia Stiles and Kirsten Dunst.
7. Top Acts on the Music Scene
Although I loved the first Charlie’s Angels movie, the best thing about the sequel was that awesome Pink song “Feel Good Time.” Pink had a great year with solid songwriting, and plenty of authentic buzz. And this end of 2003 welcomes a new album that may hold more.
Unfortunately, the promising but desperately overexposed Avril Lavigne lost her indie cred. Her publicity machine just went too far. With a rebellious image, you can’t push the slick, media-trained star into every media crevice and still keep your core audience.
Audioslave – what a name for a band. I dig this band and their songs, as much as I love the sound of Chris Cornell’s luscious voice. It’s great to see disbanded bands getting together to synergize even better music. Everywhere this year was rapper 50 cent, from the cover of Rolling Stone to a parody on SNL. When the city mouse has to hear this CD in a one-traffic-light town, it’s hot and it is ubiquitous. Could Outkast be funkier or more stuck in your head with “Hey Ya?” It even makes me watch the commercials for “Celebrity Poker” on Bravo.
8. TV keeps our interest, somewhat
CSI – Now that CSI has expanded its franchise, ala Law and Order, they still work on keeping it interesting. CSI Miami’s cast has changed a bit, dumping Kim Delaney and seemingly replacing her with Horatio Caine’s dead brother’s wife. A bit too complicated compared to the Las Vegas group, but hey, we can roll with that. Just keep focused on the cases.
The original CSI by far topped itself with the “Fur and Loathing” episode this season, about people whose fetish is wearing animal costumes for maximum kinkage. Who knew that “furpile” and “scrimping” could enter the American lexicon via primetime? This season went deeper into the twisted psychology of people living in the desert and the tropics – kidnapping for thrills, a professor of torture, bigamy and infanticide.
Without A Trace – In my opinion, the best new show this year. Issues this year ranged from parents’ enabling of violent children, to the emotional human rubble of the World Trade Center, to a missing pregnant woman hiding from her husband. They follow the clues from the person’s life to figure out where they went…there is always a trace, despite the name of the show. A great cast and clever plot twists make you forget this is yet another New York City crime show.
West Wing -- Losing its creator has made this drama’s tone a little too edgy. Watching it this season, with people flying off the handle at each other from Leo to Toby to CJ makes viewers feel like their parents are fighting and we can’t figure out why. Apparently this is meant to be a reflection of the paternal Jeb Bartlett’s inner turmoil over his MS and his daughter’s kidnapping and his second term. West Wing used to gleam and soar over the bumps in the road to running a democracy, even when they didn’t win the issue. It gave light to random issues like getting rid of the penny or use of the filibuster. Now it seems like the real Washington, which if we wanted to watch we’d turn to C-SPAN. I hold onto hope that this Beltway drama can regain its momentum.
Six Feet Under -- A series that is compelling in the sense that you watch with a tight chest at other people’s pain. And no one does the pain better, from complicated relationships among the family to the stories of the dead that pass through their funeral home. This juxtaposition of home and funeral home is a great setting for any story about life. HBO has produced some solid shows when the networks cannot, mainly for their willingness to be truly daring.
Friends – In the last season, (they really mean it, the last season,) it’s time for our six Manhattan buddies to move on. It’s a hard thing to deal with, but it’s gotta happen. There aren’t anymore viable hookups that can occur between this group. At least Phoebe, Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler and Joey can live on in reruns for eternal hilarity. And there’s still Joey’s show….
But it wasn't a great year for the networks and their primetime lineups. Reality TV has lost nearly all its steam and Fear Factor is running out of gross things for people to eat. American Idol was a phenom again, but can it keep things fresh for 2004? Please stop with the dating shows – it’s getting ridiculous. We need some new sitcom ideas but is that an oxymoron? There’s hope for the future of TV, though -- see the next two entries for breakout shows.
9. The Fab Five live up to their name
When Queer Eye for the Straight Guy first started being promoted, I loved the idea. A great concept can make a reality show work. There are some undeniable pulls, see earlier review HERE, to this funny, frenetic makeover show. What surprised me again and again was the ability of the straight guy to bond with his five handlers fairly easily. One guy was tearing up during their final toast, and it was very heartfelt to see how much things had improved for him. Sometimes the subject is just hopeless in one area – burning things in the kitchen, shaving against the grain, old habits like ratty underwear -- and you feel for him and the Fab Five. Besides the actual show, the buzz around it and it’s growing popularity have made it emblematic of the pop culture’s gay infusion. No show takes fashionable problem-solving, caustic humor and honest relating to such a fun level.
10. The Best Fake News Show Ever.
I’m glad to see The Daily Show getting it’s due this year. Few people can put things in such a true but truly absurd way as the Daily Show’s senior correspondents. From celebrity interviews to political satire, they cover it all with alternating pseudo-seriousness to “we’re just outright deranged, OK?” I still can’t figure out if they really say some of those things to people in interviews…can they really call the Rear Admiral all those names?
Even if I don’t like the guest, I stayed tuned, because superhost Jon Stewart can draw some surprising humor or revelations from nearly everyone.
C'mon, admit it. You don't need that SUV. Natalie Miller-Moore ponders why these monsters even exist.
By Natalie Miller
210 west Content Editor [send email]
I was driving in my car alone the other day. Actually, when I drive my car, I am almost always alone. I would guess that I have a human companion along with me no more than a dozen times a year. This is great for singing along to the radio and keeping my vehicle in sty-like conditions if I feel like it. The temperature suits me. The collection of “Hello, my name is Natalie” stickers can stay on the dashboard. My emergency snow rations of granola bars and water can remain in the foot space behind the passenger seat. It’s my car and my environment.
Having more than one companion in the car happens less often…maybe 6 times a year, when we go as a group for lunch or to the movies. My sedan, an older model Honda Civic is well-suited to my needs. Actually, I could probably get by with less space. My recycling often piles up and I insist on 3 changes of shoes and myriad extra clothes kept in my trunk, but still it’s enough space.
Which brings me to the topic of the much-hated, but much-driven SUV. S for Sport, U for Utility, V for vehicle – hey, you have to have a vehicle to get around. And vehicles should certainly serve your purpose, and be utilized when necessary. And I can even agree with a sporty design for maximum coolness on the road.
But, what I can’t agree with is the modern manifestation of the SUV. The many variations of the SUV include the Monster SUV, the mini-vanesque SUV, the SUV truck and the not-quite-a-SUV SUV. The thing that fascinates me is not the gas mileage or the cost of these vehicles – it’s how people convince themselves that they NEED one. But for the payments and complaints about gas prices, I cannot see justifying the ownership of one without a huge heaping of imaginative rationalization. People want to believe that they do important, rugged things that warrant ownership of such a vehicle – but do they do them often enough to justify buying one?
It must be the pure power or size of the vehicle that sells it to people. But I ask you: In a culture where people are buying more cars because they are headed in different directions, what sense does it make for one person to drive a giant land barge?
As a woman I worked with pulled in to the parking lot in a Ford Excursion, she dropped her 5 foot, 1 inch frame out of the driver’s side. Her second child is due in a few months, and I said, “how many more are you planning on having, eight?” She seemed mildly taken aback, but responded with this matter of fact answer: “I have a toddler and a golden retriever.” OK, so you need an eight-passenger V8 vehicle for the three of you? There must be something I don’t know about golden retrievers…maybe they expand when moving more than 30 miles per hour.
What drives me to sarcasm in this case is that I hate the name of the vehicle, too. An Excursion is bigger than the enormity of the Ford Expedition, even though an expedition is defined as a lengthy journey, and an excursion is a short trip out. Excursion is the name they should have given the Ford Focus if its purpose were to determine its name….
The thing that kills me is that many sane and reasonable people I know have fallen into this morass of rationalization about how they “need” an SUV. So you commute to work 45 minutes and need to be comfortable? I think a Mercedes would be more practical. So you have a large dog to cart around? How about a station wagon? If it’s a Great Dane or Irish Wolfhound maybe you should get a full-sized van. Wild kids and their friends? How about a minivan? Despite its uncool connotations, it still gets them and their gear in without a massive gas budget increase. Most people I know in their 30s are only have one kid, two at the most. That means if you have a Toyota Camry, you can take your son and three of his friends somewhere reasonably – you don’t need to intimidate old ladies in traffic with your monster tires.
So people are having fewer children and spending more time alone in their cars. Why does this not crush the SUV trend in its tracks?
When we were watching a Toyota SUV commercial together in college, my English major roommate commented that the desire for an SUV with a surfboard on top, as featured in the commercial, was people’s desire for “a return to pastoralism.” Apparently, this is a literary genre about the simple things in life, namely life near a pasture. And I think the solution for people’s understandable need for an unprocessed life is not in their cars that can conquer nature, but a real attempt to get with nature. And it’s not all butterflies and roses, sometimes it’s scary-looking grasshoppers and spiky weeds. But that does not mean people should stop seeking real experiences of daring. But it does mean they’ll have to hop down from the creamy leather driver’s seat of their SUV to do so.
Get real, people. If you spent your money on a kayak and fit a rack to the top of your Prius, you could have some real wilderness experiences, rather than faking it. And much cooler than the ironically named Sequoia, is the hip Mini Cooper. Give some consideration to living more simply, so that others can simply drive.
Zach Baker looks back at the minor obstacles that couldn't stop his love for his soon-to-be alma mater.
By Zack Baker
210 west Writer [send email]
Graduation from Bowling Green State University looms a day away for me, and I have to admit I am pretty down about the whole thing. My whole life—with the exception of my family—is here, and I find myself getting nostalgic about the whole thing.
I have opted not to write a nostalgic look back at my years, in part because I know that time has improved the memories and faded out the frustrations. What was once hated is now loved, what was tedious and boring now enlightening.
So, knowing that I love this campus and will miss it only as much as I’d miss my left arm (the more toned of the two), I am going to give you the top five things I won’t miss about Bowling Green State University.
5. The colors: I’m sorry. I know, time has healed this a bit, and I am a big Browns fan, so I should be used to it. But I also remember that Garth Brooks song “Nobody gets off in this Town,” particularly this line: Nobody gets off in this town/the high school colors are brown/
Seriously, the name is BOWLING GREEN, not Bowling Orange. I know the story about the women’s hat, but I prefer my version, the one about a fired administrator who’s last job was to pick the colors. So he (or she) got drunk that night and picked the ugliest color scheme available which, of course, was Brown and Orange.
(Although purple and green may have been worse.)
4. The sidewalks that lead to nowhere: Anyone who has attended this school knows that whoever came up with the layout for the campus’ sidewalks should be forced to watch Gigli: The Directors Cut. The idea for sidewalks is to get from point A to point B in the shortest route possible. So why, I ask, are the sidewalks on this campus the equivilant of a picture frame? Follow a sidewalk in BG and you’ll think you are reading a conceptual poem. You see, the sidewalks don’t actually GO anywhere. I followed one once to its conclusion, and found that I was in the middle of nowhere, about to fall off the face of the earth.
3. The tractor pulls: My first day in BG, August 21, 1999, I saw a sign on a hotel. It read, “Welcome BG students and National tractor pullers.” There is nothing I can really add to that, except to say that I blame my lot of problems freshman year on that recurring visual.
2. The office buildings on the east side of campus: I started my college career in Chapman Learning Community. I left after my freshman year in part to be close to the campus media offices, but also to get out of the uninspiring east side of campus. I soon noticed that the gray brick buildings of Chapman and the Kreischer area reminded me of an abandoned downtown warehouse district. The buildings there are by far the ugliest and most depressing on campus, and are in serious need of work. Freshman year is hard enough without walking to the building and murmuring: “God, I live in THIS place.”
1. OK, I can’t go any further. I love and will always love this place. Bowling Green has made me a better person, and a more mature one as well—at least I hope so. There are so many people I will miss, so many people I need to thank for the last four years. I only hope the next four years will be as rewarding.
There is very little that I can say about the future. I have faith in my abilities to make it as a journalist, but am also filled with the paranoia of the uncertainty of the next step. I am heading to Kenton, Ohio to be a sportswriter. The people who work there, and the town itself, give me faith that everything will work out.
Boy, what a strange column this turned into. I promise to be back to my sarcastic self by my next column.
But for today, thank you.
Goodbye BG.
J. Michael Bestul dissects music downloading to reveal those it really hurts: The smaller music retailer.
By J. Michael Bestul
210 west Writer [send email]
This is going to sound like an overused phrase, but trust me. The answer is, “It’s more complicated than it might seem.”
The question, asked by numerous customers who step up to the counter, is, “That ‘music downloading’ must really hurt your business, huh?”
When people ask that question (or brag about downloading instead of spending money), I want to explain just how this phenomenon works. But, the reality is that I’m behind the counter and small talk is all the rage with customers.
That means it’s time to subject you to the lengthy exploration of this subject. Feel free to insert an evil laugh. It’ll go well with my
dark goatee.
Yes, the music-downloading phenomenon is hurting my business. But only my type of business (music retail). All you idealists who think you’re sticking it to the recording companies, well, you’re just following
an empty ideal. Not only are you not doing any real damage to them, you’re also not affecting the massive retail outlets like Wal-Mart, Best Buy and Circuit City. You’re only screwing the smaller chain stores that sell music. Thanks.
Allow me to elaborate: We begin this journey with the customer base that has no inkling of how to download music. In fact, that opening question is most often asked by the average customer who knows nothing of what an mp3 is. In a general sense, this category is made up of
the baby boomer generation and older. I’m usually not one to generalize, but music downloading requires computer savvy and software availability. This means that it’s usually not the older crowd that’s going to download.
In addition, Stephen King pointed out an interesting occurrence in the
baby boomer demographic. In his Entertainment Weekly column,
he states that this generation, who once listened to challenging and creative music, has now resigned itself to purchasing music that is safe and well-worn.
I can attest to this trend. Our highest-selling release in the last few months was Clay Aiken, followed by Josh Groban. Both were usually purchased by people over 30. Our most consistent seller has been Rod Stewart’s new album, a second volume of old standards. Bob Seger was on our “Top 20” wall, and his was a greatest hits album, volume two. Even Britney and Blink-182, the masters of popular music, were trumped by the re-mastered Beatles album Let it Be that was released the same week.
Don’t think that I’m the only one noticing this trend. The record companies are definitely paying heed to it. They’re pumping out more copies of older music, and giving them to us to sell. That may be why, despite the fact that my store is in the mall—natural habitat of the young—the wall opposite “Top 20” is a collection of older and adult contemporary albums. Ick.
Meanwhile, the record companies have completely dropped any intention of promoting fantastic new albums from the likes of The Shins, Ryan Adams, and The Strokes. Even radio-friendly talents like Outkast only got a minor push. The execs simply let the two singles drive the sales for Speakerboxxx / The Love Below.
And there’s the obscured face of the music-downloading battle. We all see Napster and Metallica, the Kazaa users and the lawsuits, and the “us vs. them” mentality from both sides. What we don’t see is just how the recording industry is battling the loss of possible revenue in other ways.
The first is to pander to a different demographic. If you can’t get new customers, or are alienating them, the only way to increase sales is to get the current customers to purchase more. Hence, we see huge pushes in the uber-popular, “greatest hits,” and adult contemporary sectors.
The second is to offer rewards to those who actually purchase their music. Record companies are offering extra giveaways with big-title CDs that range from small (collector’s card with the new Britney album) to extravagant (a chance for one of four diamond-encrusted goodies with the new G-Unit album).
Third, the companies play around with the release dates. If a new album is likely to be a favorite among the downloading crowd, the labels are now changing around the release dates to make sure that the album hits before the mp3 collection does.
Fourth, they’re increasing efficiency. This takes the form of massive company mergers (such as the proposed Sony/BMG merger) or “streamlined” talent pools. You thought the big labels were already bad about cutting your favorite critically-acclaimed and semi-popular artist? You ain’t seen nothing yet. Snip, snip.
Finally, they offer “new low prices” on CDs, prices that are years overdue.
The problem with these tactics is that they may increase revenue, but they screw the customer and lover of music. If we combine efficiency with demographic tactics, suddenly a number of artists can’t make a living by making albums (does anybody else miss Pulp?). Or, if the jumpy release dates are combined with contests, we end up with cancelled contests. Just look at Jay-Z’s last album. The label released it early (with little notice), and had to tank a contest because of it.
But the recording companies are going to come out of this all right. When they switch a release date, they’re not the ones with scores of Rage Against the Machine albums that are essentially dead stock. (What, you didn’t hear that Rage’s greatest hits were out already? Neither did anyone else.) Not only that, but retailers don’t have the time to drastically alter the schedule or floor plan to suddenly put FRIDAY new releases on display. So far, the only two CDs that haven’t tanked because of switcheroo release dates are Jay-Z and Korn.
Not only are the record companies weathering this storm, so are the retail giants like Wal-mart and Best Buy. Ladies and gents, let’s clear one thing up. These companies have massive buying power, and they don’t care if a CD tanks. To them, CDs are accessories. They’re reasons to get you to come in the store. They aren’t meant to be the main sources of revenue. That’s why they can sell a CD for less than we (your friendly neighborhood music outlet) PAY for it.
Which leaves the music retailers to take the brunt of the damage for the downloading explosion. What do we do about it? Well, our administrative handlers find ways to increase sales through add-ons and rewards! (Enthusiasm definitely insincere). Remember the only two ways to increase sales? We can’t combat the downloading, we can’t combat the prices of the giants, we can’t communicate with the record labels so we really can’t increase customers. That leaves selling more stuff!
And yes, I know it annoys you when a retail employee offers you
stuff. Unfortunately, it’s no longer a thing we do for repeat customers. We need everybody to be repeat customers, and we need to get away from only selling music.
But, wait! We’re a music store? How can we say that?
Well, that’s the effect of music downloading on the retail industry.
Natalie Miller Moore wonders: “Can we ever really live a unique life, or do we just do the same things as everyone else and try to make it our own?”
By Natalie Miller
210 west Content Editor [send email]
It seems to me that some people are comforted by doing what other people are doing, and I feel like it’s easier for them. They must be reassured by the numbers of other people our age doing it – whether it’s moving, marriage or having kids. I don’t feel that way, and I think that makes me a minority. I want to be a standout, to change things and shake things up.
But my life doesn’t look too radical from the statistics. College-educated female, mid-20s, married with two dogs. Owner of one sedan and one pickup truck. Goes to work from 8:30 to 5 Monday through Friday. Wild nights out feature drinking beer at a bar where a friend’s band is playing. Home by midnight.
I never thought I would get married in my early twenties, but it seemed right at the time. Now, lots of people I know are married. Maybe it was easier because I did it first.
And now, after three years of marriage, I’m starting to get to the point where I can see kids coming down the road. It seems as inevitable as a freight train. Baby fever hits me at unlikely times, during commercials and when I saw tiny trick-or-treaters. That’s what everyone else seems to be working toward, and I feel weird about that. I want time to do things besides work. I believe true activism takes a lot of time, and that many people who have kids do not have time for social action. As it is, my schedule is pretty full, mainly with trying to make enough money to buy a house.
After years of living in different places and moving around for school or work or travel, I think I’m ready for some settling. These settling down urges seem to be unconquerable, so that goes back to my original question about uniqueness – can you create it despite your biology?
I think I’m just expressing my frustration that I seem to be following some pre-written, pre-ascribed path for a white female of my generation. One of these indications is that I own a Honda Civic. Which means in my thirties, I should have a Toyota Camry. And then, a Dodge Caravan for my pack of kids. Then I should upgrade to a Ford Explorer. This is not the radical life I had in mind.
When I was in high school, I searched college books for two things: a zoology major and a demographic of more than 50 percent black students. Why? Because I wanted to be a zoologist. Oh, and I thought that attending a more diverse school would be a better education and “broaden my horizons.” I didn’t find any schools that had both. And it didn’t matter any way, because I decided to major in journalism, where everyone hopes to educate the world and convince people of the need for change through incisive commentary and unbreachable factual presentation.
And I wanted to go far away for college, to Washington, D.C. or Boston or Charlotte. I ended up going in-state to Bowling Green for the lower tuition. And that sure as heck wasn’t a diverse school. And I while I tried to date a diverse pool of men, they pretty much fell into one category: suburban smart aleck.
I ended up marrying someone with similar demographics to me anyway. A man from a big German-Irish American family, Catholic, soccer player, Boy Scout, booklover and occasionally a rebellious stoner type. He married me, a woman from a big Irish-German American family, Catholic, a soccer player and Girl Scout, a booklover and a high-strung idealist.
Maybe I should have married a Cuban. But that might be a ho-hum settled life too, eventually. I like to think if I had just done something radical, my life would be exciting every day. I should have joined the CIA. I did go live in Ireland for six months, and that seemed pretty radical. But after settling in, life there wasn’t that different from here. Maybe I should have gone to Thailand.
These are all results of choices that I made, so why complain? I wonder if we are fed the idea that we can do and be anything, but that some force in our lives makes our lives very similar to others. Not some governmental force, but some pre-programmed note in our DNA that says “try to marry someone like you” and “buy a Honda, it’s practical” and “get settled and procreate.” No doubt much of our behavior is societal and peer influenced. And the other side of my life story is people who don’t do the typical grow up get a job get married have kids plan – they either feel a sense of failure because they don’t match up, or they just don’t care. I wish I could just not care. I’m troubled by this loss of idealism about changing to world. Grown-ups were always so practical. Now I feel like I’m becoming one, and becoming trapped by that process. Bills, family and work – there has to more to it than that.
Maybe a family can be a structure for social change, instead of a giving in to biology. I guess I’ll see.
Dan Nied has a new addiction, and it involves kings, queens and pocket aces.
It's not that I've ever won a dime playing poker. It's just that the possibility is there and as a poor American, I feel it my duty to win every under-the-table, black market cent I can.
But then, that's what makes for a good addiction
In all honesty, only about 15 percent of the hands I've ever played have been for money. The rest have been for pride and fun online. But I'll be damned if I have the ability to stop.
I know no other game besides No Limit Texas Hold ‘Em: all in at any time, play with the swings. In the movie "Rounders", Mike (Matt Damon) calls Hold ‘Em "The last pure game left". I feel that way because I've never played another. But Hold ‘Em seems pretty fair.
While poker hasn't quite consumed my life yet the signs are definitely there. Does a game trump a night out at the bar? More than it should. Would it be more beneficial to work on my resume or play a quick tournament on absolutepoker.com? Well, I don't have a job, but I did win the last two tournaments I played in. If my relatives want to visit with me on Thanksgiving, should I give in to their benign conversation or watch the final table of the World Series of Poker on ESPN for the third time? Lets just say that I knew Chris Moneymaker won, but I just had to make sure. Anyway, Aunt Thelma can wait until Christmas Eve to know that the job search isn't going that well and, yes, I do plan to move out of my parent's house soon.
So while I was supposed to be making chit chat with relatives I don't really care about, I was in my basement, pants unbuckled watching Moneymaker win the first professional tournament he ever played in and become world champion.
And therein lies the genius of the game. Since Poker has gained acceptance and popularity on ESPN and the Travel Channel, it has sat atop the "Hey, I can do that" sports world, bumping bowling down to second and putting Bocce Ball a distant third. Don't believe me? Well, if I got sick of the World Series on Thanksgiving, I only had to turn to Fox Sports Net to see a marathon showing of ANOTHER poker tournament. Both were on for at least eight hours that day.
The popularity of the game is unavoidable. Now, when we play, my old roommate Brett holds an unlit cigarette in his mouth like Sam Farha, his hero on the circuit. I get excited that Dan Harrington, World Series winner in 1995, is cousins with golfer Padraig Harrington and my hometown quarterback Joey Harrington. I actually said to myself "Man, those Harringtons really know how to turn out athletes." Of course, I consider poker players athletes. Hey, they're on ESPN. Most of them could probably beat Beano Cook in a race.
As the days without a paycheck go on, I turn my attention to a possible new vocation: Poker Player. Millionaire. Pro Athlete. It might be a stretch, but I haven't had this much dedication to a sport since my senior year of high school football.
I mean, that's what makes for a good addiction, right?
Warren Spahn's granddaughter blushed when the hall of fame pitcher tried to "set her up" with a future journalist. Vince Guerrieri also blushed, but got a story out of it.
By Vince Guerrieri
210 west Managing Editor [send email]
I felt like, wow, what a great way to make a living. If I goof up, there’s going to be a relief pitcher come in there. Nobody’s going to shoot me.”--Warren Spahn, on baseball versus the Army
Warren Spahn tried to fix me up with his granddaughter once.
Many people have taken an interest in my love life, including co-workers at several places of employment, friends and a gaggle of old ladies in Youngstown. (In fairness, I can probably use all the help I can get.) But a baseball hall of famer? Well, not everyone’s that lucky.
I was in Cooperstown for the Baseball Hall of Fame induction weekend in 1992. So was Spahn. Apparently, he made it to every induction from his own in 1973 to the one last summer, the last one he attended before his death last week week at the age of 82.
One of the features of induction weekend was an autograph session with as many living hall of famers as they could throw together into a room, including the man regarded as the best left-handed pitcher, if not the best pitcher, in baseball.
I was standing in front of him with a postcard or something for him to sign and an Indians cap hiding my thinning hair. He had brought one of his two granddaughters along. I was 14, and she looked about my age. But she was thin and pretty. I was a bit of a nerd (yeah, was…let me delude myself).
“Are you a good kid,” Spahnie asked. I told him I thought I was. “Are you going to be successful?”
Spahn was sitting next to Bob Feller, possibly the best pitcher ever to put on an Indians uniform. Rapid Robert gave me a ringing endorsement.
“Hell yeah, he’s gonna be successful,” he said. “He’s wearing an Indians cap!”
“I just want to fix my granddaughter up with a guy who’s going to be successful!”
She turned red. “Grandpa!” I offered a smile, silently sympathizing at how your grandparents can embarrass you (I still remember Charlie, my grandfather, yelling across three aisles of the Sparkle Market on Meridian Road for me) and moved on, with one more story to tell.
Ted Williams said he wanted people to look at him and say, “There goes Ted Williams, the greatest hitter that ever lived.” And for the most part, he achieved it. Joe DiMaggio insisted on always being introduced last at Old-Timers Games as “the greatest living ballplayer.”
But Spahn knew what was serious and what wasn’t. A veteran of the European Theater in World War II, he received the Bronze Star and Purple Heart, and saw combat at Remagen and the Battle of the Bulge.
When I left my internship at the Richmond Times-Dispatch, the wizened, grizzled wire editor, Harry Meem, took me aside and offered two pieces of advice. One was that I should never trust The AP. The other was that I should take my job seriously, but not myself.
I’ve tried to do that. As a journalist, I’ve dealt with too many self-important people. I prefer people who understand that a lot of life is a game. There are some moments that are deadly serious, for sure, but the rest is just details.
Spahn realized that after World War II. He came home and won 363 games and a World Series, for the Braves in Boston and Milwaukee. He was even a fairly good hitter, as far as pitchers go. But it was a game. That’s why I could appreciate him.
Well, that and he tried to fix me up with his granddaughter once