Zach Baker can't escape the draw of sarcastic comments and smart-ass replies. Is he doomed?
By Zack Baker
210 west Writer [send email]
Sometimes sarcasm can be your best friend.
Or at least it feels that way. I am not sure when it kicked in, but at some point in my life I decided that sarcasm was funny, and I adapted to it.
So now the question is, how do I stop?
Trying to snap out of deadpan humor is not easy. Just ask my copy editing class, where I have made more deadpan jokes than a bad CBS sitcom.
But I think that my reliance on sarcasm and cynicism have become a bit of a problem. No matter how funny we think we are (and how unfunny the rest of the world think we are) there comes a time for analysis.
Sarcasm is an addiction. Once you make one remark, you are suddenly drawn to make more, to the point where you can’t stop.
I’d hate to be at my wedding, have the preacher ask me if I am here to take my vows and responding with something like, “No I’m here to buy a fish sandwich.”
At some point, you have to decide if you want to be a bad comedian, or want to be a productive member of society.
I recently told myself that I needed to see if I could get through my copy editing class without a sarcastic remark.
A classmate walked in with a turtleneck, and before I could stop myself I muttered, “Skiing accident?”
10 seconds.
And it wasn’t even a good joke.
Yeah, that hurt.
I’m not funny enough to be a comedian, so I guess my new goal in life, or my curse, may be to go around cracking bad, sarcastic jokes until the day I move on.
If I was good at it, it’d be one thing.
But I’m just not good at it.
So now I am not sure what to do.
I guess I’ll tell a joke.
So you may be asking why this is a problem.
The first thing that I have learned is that the clown never gets the girl.
Sure, they may laugh at your jokes, smile and say hi, but in the end, they want to be with someone they can take seriously.
Or at least, that’s been my experience.
Bob Hope never ended up with woman in the end.
And he was good at comedy.
I am finding that when I want a woman to take me seriously, I still can’t escape the sarcasm inside of me.
I’d like to tell a girl that I care, that it is important to me to see her smile.
That taking her out one night would be a great joy, and that I would try my best to make her happy.
But all that comes out is awkwardness, because when you have been sarcastic for so long, seriousness and sensitivity makes you uncomfortable.
So, unless I want to be alone when I grow up, a sarcastic personality probably isn’t the way to go.
See, now I feel inclined to make a joke.
The second thing I have learned is that it’s not appropriate to be funny (or attempting humor) on all occasions.
A wedding, a funeral, church.
A wedding is when it hits you. You can make everyone laugh, but then come the slow dances, and you find yourself as popular as a Kennedy at a Republican convention.
Is ending sarcasm the answer to loneliness?
Probably not.
But I have a feeling it couldn’t hurt.