Dan Nied is doing his damnedest to maintain some sort of Detroit Pride, even in the face of unbelievable Tigers losses. But, he says, there's hope. Kinda.
Around the middle of May it became a foregone conclusion the Detroit Tigers would lose every one of their remaining games this season.
By that point it was clear that the Tigers were the Muhamed Ali’s of losing.
To this point they’ve done it 113 times, often in a unique and amazing fashion.
My personal favorite came last week when pitcher Nate Cornejo blanked the Toronto Blue Jays for nine innings in what should have been a complete game shutout. The only problem is the Tigers didn’t score a run and lost 1-0 in the 10th when Cornejo finally broke.
Then there was that Cleveland night in the spring when Carlos Pena hit four home runs and the Tigers still lost 10-9.
We haven’t seen breakdowns like this since Anne Heche got dumped by Ellen.
As the resident Tigers fan at 210 West, I feel it is my duty to let you know that while the Tigers really are this bad, all hope is not lost in Detroit.
Look, we’ve had bad baseball for the last decade. It had been so bad that I have actually started to lose some love for the Tigers. Where there was no other game (besides the Pistons maybe) in town in the early 1990s, now I find I have to be fascinated by the WNBA championship winning Detroit Shock in order to feel any September pride. (By the way, GO SHOCK!)
But is that a sliver of light I see at the end of this dark delusional tunnel? Well, maybe just a tiny bit.
Hey, third baseman Eric Munson played like a major leaguer this year, which is more than I can say about middle infielders Omar Infante and Ramon Santiago, who were supposed to be the second coming of Alan Trammell and Lou Whitaker.
Pena had a few good games, which didn’t really outweigh his bad ones. He had a little trouble handling the numerous defensive burdens of first base, such as catching the ball and fielding soft grounders. But he’ll end up with a fair average around .260 and challenging the 20 home-run mark.
Outfielder Craig Monroe looked dangerous in the on deck circle, if not in the actual batters box.
And lets not forget all-star Dmitri Young, who, if he isn’t traded for a new bat rack and a jug of Gatorade, will soon become “perennial all-star Dmitri Young." Young was streakier than a drunk hippie at the Oscars. When he was hot he hit .450; when he was cold he hit .150. It will all even out to a tolerable .290 average and close to 30 dingers.
And lets not forget that powerhouse pitching staff.
While Mike Maroth is already 20 losses deep and Jeremy Bonderman is unquestionably going to get there, neither has pitched particularly bad this season. Think about the fact that if you can stay in the rotation long enough to get 20 losses you must be doing something right. Bonderman is a 20-year old wunderkind who honestly could be dominant one day. Maroth could turn into a solid third or fourth starter.
Cornejo, who, in my favorite Tiger fun fact, can’t grow hair anywhere on his body, has been downright tolerable at times. He could wind up being a solid two starter.
So, you could say things are looking up in Tiger world. Once these players hit their prime, Detroit will be no worse than a third-place team in the American League Central. That’s right, at the end of the Tigers' current five-year plan they should overtake the Cleveland Indians.
While those kinds of results are far off right now. You know, you gotta have goals.