100 Days

I am basically treading water right now, putting together some good days of eating with some not so good days of eating, never really totally fucking up.

In short, I am doing enough to maintain my weight or, at most, lose just a little bit here and there.

For the last month I have gone back and forth between 280 and 276, never really making a huge breakthrough, but always staying under the dubious 280 mark.

But it is safe to say that this diet has lost momentum since I came back from Detroit.

What that means is that it is no longer the most important thing of each day. It has become routine. I know exactly what I am going to get at the grocery store. I know exactly what I can have for lunch and I know exactly what I can cheat with.

Bagels are a very guilty pleasure. At restaurants I almost always order a salad, but don’t hesitate to use all of the dressing. I think I could go on eating along these lines for a good long while, but of course I am thinking there will be at least one more major push towards 240. When that push will come, I don’t know. Hopefully it will be soon, but in a week I will be embarking on one of the biggest unknown adventures of my entire life.

This move is bigger than college, but similar in many ways. First, I will be moving in with people I don’t know, in a setting I am not familiar with. Second, I won’t know anyone at all, save for two friends who each live an hour away in different directions. Third, different things will be expected of me in my studies/job. Fourth, at the end of a period of time (three years in my head) I will know where I stand as a professional.

This is a big stepping stone job for me. It will either kill my career or propel me into the big time of sports journalism. What I have on my side is what I didn’t know during college: hard work will eventually pay off. I didn’t do a journalism-class assignment for my last three years of college. I flunked two easy classes just because I didn’t feel like doing the homework. But now, I understand that if I might have done those things, then the last few years of all around near-depression may not have ever happened.

So all I can do is go out there and work hard and make sure I am one of the best writers they have ever had.

But at the same time, I have to remember to work hard in other aspects of my life. Namely, the weight loss. To be what I want to be, I need to be under 250. That’s all there is. And I need to do it soon. I don’t need to go back to 1200 calories per day, but I have to be much more careful about what I put into my body.

So really, that’s where I am right now. I started packing my stuff today and I have a lot of work to do before I get done.