100 Days

I think I might be having my period.

Take today, for example. The day after going through a somewhat depressing “date”, which included me, the girl and 7-10 other people that I didn’t know but she did, drinking at a bar that I’ve never been to which just happened to be 40 miles away from my home, where I had interesting conversations with everyone BUT her and listened to them talk about work for four hours, I was pretty moody.

I woke up just fine and even shot her off an email thanking her for inviting me to hang out with her. Then at lunch with coworker Jen, I freaking lost my mind. I don’t know if Jen could tell, but I was pretty damn testy. Actually, it was pretty obvious to all while I was spewing slurs and epithets about my neighbors in this town. The backdrop was horrible drivers. But the actual reason I was miffed was because, at 26, I still have to borrow the occasional car payment from my parents and I am actually hoping for a job that would make my financial situation worse. At this point, shouldn’t I be making at least $30,000 per year? And that’s all I’m asking for. I just want to pay the bills and have some left over. That’s it. I don’t want every meal to break me financially and I don’t want to have to drastically alter my normal budget for a weekend trip.

So that made me mad enough. And then, I started thinking about the one thing I actually had before I came out here: Friends. I’d say that I have three actual friends in this town, though I can barely name them off the top of my head. There is one person I like to drink with and two people I like to have lunch with. Everyone else is an awkward conversation that I don’t really need to participate in. Oh but back in Detroit with my high school friends and in Columbus, Ohio with my college friends, the perils of real life vanish among the warmth of friendship every weekend. That doesn’t happen here. Basically, when I am with my friends here, we talk about how much we hate this town.

That’s what the town does to you. It makes you think about what is happening in other places. Today I just got fed up with it, especially knowing that the coming weekend, which used to be one of the funnest of the year, will consist of absolutely nothing besides the occasional workout and perhaps a few movies. My Detroit friends will be heading up north to a cabin in central Michigan. There, the single ones will try to get single girls to touch their private parts. I will most likely be touching my own.

So what did that do to my diet? Well, it put me in an even further rut. Quick note here: Yesterday I went to the gym and weighed in at 277. That is four pounds lost in a not-that-healthy week. So I might still be losing weight, but I can’t really keep eating like I have been. There were many bagels today, and maybe even a can of ravioli. I don’t feel particularly good as I write this and I am telling myself that Friday must be a good day, just like Saturday and Sunday have to be.

I need to stop this recent slide as soon as possible. Yes, these have been interesting times, with an unexpected upward swing in my social life, or at least the amount I have gone out to get drunk. But I am still not at the target weight of 270. It is kind of pathetic that in the last three and a half months I have lost only 23 pounds. I guess it’s better than gaining 23 pounds, but you would figure that after losing 70 in the first 100 days, I would at least be able to bang out 40 in the next 100. But it certainly is no secret that I have relaxed a little bit. But I really want to get back to basics here. I can’t throw out any more numbers because I’m not sure how my body is reacting at this point. But what I do know is that nothing bad can happen on 1,200 calories per day.

Ok, I’m out.