100 Days

I am neither excited nor disapointed in anything right now. It's kind of a strange feeling. I think most of us rely on those emotions and feel lost when nothing comes.

Basically, I lost another pound today, down to just under 291 (Previously I bottomed out at 291.4, then went up to about 292.5 and now I am down to 290.8. But that's probably all water weight anyhow.). I worked out for 40 minutes on the elliptical, too.

There is nothing for me to be disapointed in. But I can't really get excited about things either. I am looking at June 9, the day I head back home, and I really would like to be 270. So that is just under a month away and I am not really sure I can lose 20 pounds in that time. Yeah, so what if I head back between 275 and 280? Certainly that would be pretty good. Honestly, that wouldn't make much of a difference to me. At my weight, five or 10 pounds really don't make a difference.

I am thinking about drastically changing the workout plan. Shep, the baseball coach here who turned up briefly in earlier posts as kind of a consultant, tipped me off to a website that will tailor a workout for you based on size and need. However, that workout is much more thorough than the one I am doing now. It makes sure that every muscle in the body gets some action at least twice a week. Right now, I am basically focusing on arms, chest and back. I'm not even thinking about lower body.

On one hand, taking on this new workout would mean at least two hours in the gym three times per week, and that is without cardio. On off days I would have to do cardio, which would certainly take some self-motivation.

But on the other hand, I am about to embark on a summer filled with nothing to do. My plan is to find a new job, work a few hours a day and then pretty much do nothing. So what would it hurt to fill in that nothing time with a solid workout? You know, it might be nice to actually have a good body for once in my life. I've been embarrassed to take my shirt off since I was five. I went to Cancun for spring break in college and went swimming two times in a week (And made it to the ocean only once, on the last day. Also, there are rumors that my friends and I spent that week smoking the finest ounce of Mexican weed $50 can buy. That was kind of during my month-long stoner phase in college. Six years later, I haven’t really touched the stuff since.)

But anyway, picking up the workout might be really good. But I worry that I don’t know what I am getting myself into here. If I become super healthy guy, does that mean I can never go back to being a fat slob? I mean, I don’t want to be a fat slob anymore, but I also don’t want to paint myself into a corner here. Dilemmas, man.

So anyway, that sums the day up. I'm not really pumped about anything, but I have no reason to be upset. I'm kind of in a happy medium, which is not really happy at all.

I think I am going to go cut myself to make sure I can still feel pain.

And sorry if that offended all you cutters out there.