100 Days

First thing’s first. I got back on the scale Friday after working out and it was at 306, which is kind of what I expected. The 310 reading seemed much too high and the 302 reading was much too low. I let my body balance out a bit and came up with 306. That is very good news because 300 is within my grasp. I can taste it, much like a sausage pizza with extra cheese.

This was a pretty boring weekend. I tell myself over and over again that I like to relax and do nothing at all times. But then when I have a chance to relax and do nothing, I hate it. But then I have no other options so I don’t do anything. Either that or I am not very creative. But really there is nothing to do around here. I need a tennis partner.

So here is a complete rundown of my entire weekend.

Friday
Got out of work at 7 p.m. Went to Subway, the cute girl was there. She knows my name now (since it is in the paper about five times a day) and calls me by it every time I go in. She even wrote it on my sandwich Friday night. So that’s good, I guess. Although there is no way she is out of high school. I am a dirty, dirty man.

I kept up with the dirty man theme around 1 a.m. For the first time in my life I subscribed to a porn site. That’s right, I am one of the newest members of sweetkrissy.com. It’s not really porn as much as it is just a really hot girl being naked. Why did I do it? Sheer boredom. (And the fact that I can’t find free naked pictures of this girl anywhere on the web. It was getting to be a little frustrating and time consuming. And yes, I am a little uncomfortable talking about this.)

So then I went to bed and knocked out the last 30 pages of Ball Four, Jim Bouton’s recounting of the 1969 baseball season. It was the second time I read it. This time was just as good as the original.

But before I did all that I watched the 2006 Best Picture Academy Award winner Crash on Showtime. It was fucking awesome. Fantastic movie. I’ll leave it at that.

Saturday
I woke up at 11 to the sound of hammering. It was the guys putting in the new kitchen windows for everyone. They still haven’t gotten to my apartment, even though they said they would be here by Friday. I really am not crazy about the idea of letting two guys into my apartment. It will be awkward, what with me not wearing pants.

Worked out at about 4 p.m. All I did was 40 minutes on the elliptical. Felt pretty good.

Then I just laid around and watched television for the rest of the night. What a shitty Saturday that was.

Sunday
Woke up at noon, just in time to catch the second half of the Pistons’ beat down of the Pacers. That made me happy. Then I was miserable as the Tigers lost their first game of the season. After that I booked a plain ticket home. So if any of you want to visit me, I will be in Detroit from June 9 to June 18. I expect drunkenness. That should be fun.

I talked myself out of working out and then went for a walk at 6, after the Masters was over. While walking, I got an idea for a screenplay I want to write. The working title is “Kevin and Ahmed go to Burger King”. It’s about two loveable stoners making a munchie trip, only things go horribly wrong. But it will be funny. And original.

Then I worked a bit, went to Subway, came home, watched TV and decided to write this amazingly interesting blog entry.

I have no lessons to pass on tonight, other than Hogan Knows Best is a pretty good show and The Simpsons haven’t had a classic episode in at least five years. They aren’t bad now, but there is nothing quotable from the show anymore. There was a time when your knowledge of Simpson’s quotes shared a distinct relationship with your worth as a man. Sad to say that those times are gone and that just makes me feel a little bit older.