100 Days

What I ate today

Breakfast (10 a.m.)
1 can of spinach
Calories: 90
Fat: 0 grams

Lunch (1 p.m.)
1 foot long Subway chicken breast sandwich
Calories: 640
Fat: 10 grams

Snack (6 p.m.)
1 stick of beef jerky
Calories: 150
Fat: 2 grams

Snack (9 p.m.)
1 stick of beef jerky
Calories: 150
Fat: 2 grams

Snack (12 a.m.)
1 stick of beef jerky
Calories: 150
Fat: 2 grams

Total calories: 1,180
Fat: 16 grams

Exercise: None. I am such a rat bastard. I talked and talked yesterday about getting in five good days of exercise, and then I didn’t do it today. Ha. The reason is pretty simple, I was unusually sore from Thursday’s workout. I decided to push Friday’s workout to Saturday. So I will still get in the five days.

It’s pretty easy to tell when I have no food in the house and I am too lazy to go shopping. I eat spinach for breakfast and three sticks of beef jerky in a six-hour span.

Just to go on record here: I’m not even close to including jerky into the regular makeup of this diet, but I will say that it is the perfect thing in a pinch.

I devised the three-jerky plan this afternoon while I was dreading heading back to the basketball tournament and the motherfucking buffet that has tripped me up so much lately. I decided that I needed some sort of substitute for the fried chicken that would be romantically calling my name from under its sinister lid. I didn’t think baby carrots would really hit the spot. So I decided that I would go with the jerky because A) it is salty and delicious B) at only 150 calories and 2 grams of fat per, uh, stick, it has some value to this diet and c) the three sticks would put me right within my calorie range for the day.

So those are the plusses of beef jerky. There are, however, some minuses. First and foremost is the sodium. There’s a lot of it and it makes me nervous. I am pretty sure those three servings of beef jerky (yes, one serving per package) gave me at least 200 percent of my recommended daily allowance of sodium. However, my basic rule of choosing foods goes like this: You can eat it if the calorie and fat values work. I am willing to sacrifice sodium for solid calorie and fat values. That’s how I roll, yo.

The other minus, at least in my mind, is that this stuff has to be really processed. I think it would have to take some sort of scientific engineering to get meat into that kind of shape and texture. Also, I would surmise that as the reason for the high sodium content. But you know what? It’s better than fried chicken (and homemade soup. That was on the buffet tonight, too. Also, cookies and chips.)

So I actually went into the buffet room twice tonight. Yeah, I flirted with disaster. The reason I went up there was to get bottles of water, so I had good intentions. On the way to the buffet room each time I just repeated to myself: “Only water, only water, only water, no chicken, only water.” It worked. The first time I went in, I grabbed my water, walked to the doorway, turned around and flipped the bird to the bird. That’s right fried chicken. Fuck you! You won’t get the best of me again.

And it didn’t. So I feel pretty good about that.

Now, since it is 1:22 a.m. on a Friday night, and I am officially “blogging” I think I have painted myself as quite a loser in life. So to avoid any further embarrassments, I will just call it quits for now.