100 Days

What I ate today

Breakfast (11a.m.)
1 cup of low fat cottage cheese
2 ounces of roast beef
Calories: 226
Fat: 5 grams

Lunch (1 p.m.)
1 ½ servings of steel cut oats
Calories: 240
Fat: 4.5 grams

Snack (3 p.m.)
1 orange
Calories: 100?
Fat: 0 grams

Snack (5 p.m.)
1 ounce of roast beef
3 servings (approx) of raw green beans
Calories: 75
Fat: 1 grams

Dinner (6:30 p.m.)
Salad
3 chicken filets
4 servings of iceberg lettuce
5 cherry tomatoes
½ of a green pepper
1 serving of raw green beans
3 servings of fat free Italian dressing
1 serving of Just 2 Good bleu cheese dressing
Calories: 295
Fat: 2.5 grams

Total Calories: 969 (approximately)
Total fat: 13 grams

Exercise: None.

People are starting to notice. It has happened more and more in the last week. The first was a coach of one of the teams I cover, and lately, people are saying it all over the place. “Hey, Dan, are you losing weight?” (By the way, that reminds me. My goal this week is to put some current pictures up on the site. Hopefully that will happen by Wednesday.)

It’s nice, it really is. Although I don’t see too much of a change in how I look and I am mildly frustrated by the recent plateau I seem to have hit (one pound last week, but I understand how this works, plateaus will happen). But it is still a good boost for other people to see that this is working. In turn, I have had to give up my desire to lose weight as stealthily as possible. I still don’t tell many people around here about the blog because I don’t really want word getting out locally, but everyone knows I am losing weight. That is something I can’t hide. It’s not like I thought I would just show up in 100 days and all of a sudden look 100 pounds lighter, accept congratulations from everyone within an earshot and then go on my merry way. That would be cool, but probably not possible. But I was always curious how long it would take people to start to notice. And I always figured I would have to lose about 50 pounds. I always say, there isn’t all that much difference between 330 and 370. I mean, yeah, you might be slightly smaller, but you are still fat. Yes, I am still fat. So I need to keep reminding myself that every time the bad thought crosses my mind.

That thought? It goes like this: “Dan, you’ve lost over 30 pounds, man. You’ve earned the right to buy a pizza from Wal-Mart, get extra pepperoni and a full pound of cheese and make a Super Pizza.” I do love my old recipe for a “Nied Pizza”, as I like to call it, but I know I haven’t earned that right yet. But there are times I want to reward myself. Well, maybe not reward myself, but at least take a break from the way I have been eating.

Take Saturday. I didn’t really want to stay on the diet. I realized that I ate way too much oatmeal for breakfast and probably had the whole day shot anyway. Now, you’ll remember earlier I talked about the difference between cheating and blowing the whole fucking thing up. Well, I wanted to blow the whole fucking thing up. I knew, though, that I could only cheat.

Quick side note: Short track speed skating relays might be the most confusing sport in the world, even more confusing than cricket. It’s on right now and I just see about 20 different people skating in two different circles. I don’t know what’s happening. Oh well.

Anyway, I knew I was going to cheat. But I wanted to do it in moderation. So I went to evil Wal-Mart and searched for a semi-low calorie, but large and tasty, meal to gorge on. I didn’t find much, So what did I do? I got a half pound of roast beef, a quarter pound of turkey pastrami, a surprisingly low calorie and low fat can of clam chowder soup and a can of turkey chili with no beans.

In retrospect, that might have been too much to have in one sitting. But that is what I had. My lunch Saturday consisted of the soup, the chili, a turkey pastrami sandwich and roast beef sandwich. I felt like shit as soon as I was done. I didn’t feel guilty, mind you, I just felt like shit. That stuff sat in my stomach like a sunken pirate ship.

About three or four hours later I made a grave mistake. I went to Subway and got a 12 inch club. It was awesomely good, but it felt like there was a Boy Scout knot tying convention in my stomach for the rest of the night. I think the combination of the two meals was deadly. I was assigned to the couch by the food gods and was instructed to stay there until I had learned my lesson. That came at 4 a.m., when I finally went to bed 70 percent sure I wasn’t going to puke.

There is a silver lining here. See, when I ate those things in the past, I called it a healthy day. Add it up and it comes to about 2,500 calories. Not so bad. Also, I would have put that shit down and moved on like a (sluggish) champ. But after 38 days or so, I was nearly crippled by the experience. That’s progress, isn’t it?

My lesson? I like to think it was learned.

And you know, I don’t feel guilty about cheating. It might slow things down a little bit, but overall, I can’t really expect myself to eat 1,200 calories every day. Yeah, that was the goal, but things change. I don’t feel guilty because I know that I have overhauled my entire lifestyle into that of a healthy person’s. And I understand that there will be some days where I eat less than I should and some days where I eat more. But I am at peace with one day of cheating, because I know that it won’t lead to a month-long bender anymore. It’s is just a case of your mind being in the right place.

Right now, mine is.