100 Days

Alright, I am officially getting sick of coming up short in calories. At first I had it perfect, nailing between 1,200 and 1,500 each day. But then I had to cut down on bread. That has killed me. Tomorrow, circumstances permitting, I am going to the evil Wal-Mart and getting some fucking oatmeal and a bag of goddamn brown rice. I have realized that I am not on Atkins, and that I need to fucking eat. For fuck’s sake, this really pisses me off. (Probably because I think I might be leveling off on the weight loss.) Oh, I just found out there is a health food store in this town. I’m heading down there tomorrow after work. I wanna check this place out. I’m guessing there will be a shelf of vitamins, a few vegan products and a creepy sales guy with no teeth and a pony tail. I’ll let you know what I find.

It’s just frustrating to think that I have been going to all this trouble trying to cut back calories and I have actually it done too much. It is equally frustrating to think that I have deprived myself of food that I used to love, yet I might still be eating the wrong things. Certainly, I refuse to believe that I won’t lose weight if I continue with my current eating habits, but still, I want to do this right, and I want to do it now. I’m really not in this for a year-long fast.

With that, my goals in this have become a little clearer to me. I am not as sold as I used to be on the 100 pounds in 100 days theory. Although I still think it could happen. Right now I am at about 32 pounds in 37 days, so I am really not that far off. But it has occurred to me that I will naturally be burning fewer calories as my weight decreases, even if my activity is up. So therefore, burning the 3,500 calories it takes to lose one pound will become harder. Yes, this is common sense. Yes I had thought of it even before I started. But you know, I didn’t really care. I still don’t. I am going to do this until the 100 day mark of April 14. If I’m happy with my weight at that point (Probably 285 or under would satisfy me), then I will up the calories and keep working out in an effort to lose more weight gradually and make normal, healthy eating part of my lifestyle. If I am still over 300 or so, I will probably continue this diet until I get down to a desirable weight.

Lifestyle. That is the operative word there. I’ve heard stories about people losing tons of weight, only to put it back on a short time later. I think I could be in danger of that if I let my inner-fatty get the best of me. So when I level off on the eating, I am going to have to make sure I have enough control to not go on a taco bender in the middle of the night. And, in my mind 38 days ago, only a Jedi master would have that kind of control. See that’s the difference. We all know that eventually I will eat pizza again or go get fast food. But where I was praying a chili cheese burrito would fall out of the sky and land in my mouth only a month ago, I now am sort of put off by the idea of grease and cheese and such. I mean, I still want it, but now I am thinking more about the consequences.

But, to tie this whole rant together, it would really suck ass if it turned out my new eating regimen, for all its calorielessness and low-fatish qualities, wasn’t doing the job I want it to do. But that’s why I never signed a contract with the Healthy Choice people to eat their smoked sausage. I can adjust. I am not tied down to anything. Maybe I should buy a wok and do stir fry every night. That would be good.

So today I worked out with Shep for the first time. This is the last reminder you will get about Shep: He is a physical education teacher and baseball coach at the junior college in this town. He is a smart man about these things. He is willing to help me, so I am willing to let him help me.

Anyway, Shep put me through a short, but vigorous workout today. It turns out, though, I didn’t need him around to do any of it. However, his presence was (and will be) very much appreciated on two counts:

1)It’s always better to work with someone you don’t want to let down. If I had given up at all today, I would have felt like I was wasting his time. If I had given up while I was alone, I would have felt like I was just taking a day for Dan.

2)Working out is only useful when proper technique is used. Me, I don’t give a shit about technique when I work out. (Not true, but we’ll say it is for this point). Shep watched me the whole way and made sure I did everything right. He made sure I did the best I could today. And I am sure that when we meet up again Tuesday, he will do the exact same thing.

One quick note here on my personal feelings. Shep is a guy that has a whirlwind of shit to deal with right now. He’s got 30 baseball players who he has to play dad too. He has classes to teach and paperwork to do. But he is taking time out of his day to help me in this quest. He is showing me exercises that I never even thought of and he is not getting paid at all. And you know, I really appreciate that. He doesn’t have to do that and there aren’t many people who would. But he is just one person who is. The regular commenters on this site or at blog critics always take time out of their day to suggest changes or offer their knowledge as to what I am doing right or wrong. I get agitated at that sometimes because, obviously, I don’t want to be corrected in my quest. But I always end up realizing that every suggestion is valuable and helps me out in some way. So yeah, thanks everyone.

Alright, I am done being a woman. Shep put me through four exercises today. First we took the medicine ball and did lunges. That hurt. Then he made me get into a squat position, hold eight pound weights and punch his hand for three-one minute sets. That hurt, but not as much. Then I took one of those big balls that people do crunches on, I put it up against the wall, leaned on it in a standing position and lowered myself until my thighs were parallel to the ground. The goal was to hold the position for a minute. I would have to get up every once in awhile, though. That one sent pain shooting throughout my entire body. It was a good one. The last thing we did was take the medicine ball and do rotations against the wall. That was easy, but still hurt. Then I did a 12-minute cool down on the elliptical machine (He told me to do 15, I cheated. Sorry)

I felt pretty damn good afterwards. In fact, other than a little achiness in my back from sitting in this goddamn chair for the last three hours, I feel pretty damn good right now.