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January 21, 2006
Day 17
I want a freaking cheeseburger!
What I ate today
Breakfast (8:15 a.m.)
3 ounces of roast beef
2 slices wheat bread
1 tablespoon fat free mayonnaise
½ cup of lowfat cottage cheese
8 ounces V-8
Approximate calories: 335
Fat: 5.5 grams
Lunch (12 p.m.)
3 ounces of roast beef
4 ounces of turkey breast
4 slices of wheat bread
2 tablespoons of fat free mayonnaise
Several tablespoons of fat free mustard
Approximate calories: 410
Fat: 6 grams
Snack (3 p.m.)
Handful of red grapes
4 grape tomatoes
Approximate calories: 50?
Fat: 0 grams
Dinner (5:30 p.m.)
Salad
3 servings iceberg lettuce
4 grape tomatoes
1/6 of a cucumber
1 thin onion slice
3 ounces mushrooms
1 can tuna
3 ounces roast beef
2 servings fat free Italian dressing
1 serving Just 2 Good bleu cheese
Approximate calories: 448
Fat: 6.5 grams
Snack (11:45 p.m.)
1 serving lowfat cottage cheese
Approximate Calories: 80
Fat: 1.5 grams
Drinks
3.5 liters of water
Approximate calories ingested: 1,323
Fat ingested: 19.5 grams
I want a goddam cheeseburger right now! The cravings are worst on Friday nights after work. I used to look forward to this time all week. It wasn’t much, but after midnight I always had few hours where I could kick back and enjoy at least $12 worth of fast food, usually from Wendy’s.
I would veg out, as the kids say, and get high on beef, cheese and mayonnaise. It was the perfect reward for 10 hours of work on a Friday night and a full week of writing about the same shit happening in the same places in the same fucking town. I looked forward to the food most of all. But now, well, I can’t do that. I came home tonight and had what honestly amounted to more than the one serving of cottage cheese I listed above. I am not satisfied. But I won’t give in. I have come too far since the gravy incident. I’m not going to jeopardize this diet just because of one craving.
One thing I am learning is the difference between cheating and blowing the whole fucking thing up. Obviously, if I went to Wendy’s tonight and poured out $15 for delicious delicious cheeseburgers, that would be blowing the whole fucking thing up. However, if I let this craving subside and then wait until Saturday or Sunday and go to Subway and get a double-meat club with no cheese or mayo, then that is simply cheating. Sure that double-meat club isn’t on the diet, officially, but it is only 900 calories and almost as good as the cheeseburgers. I can get away with that. In fact, there should be very little doubt that I will be purchasing a double-meat club sometime this weekend. I’ll let you know how that goes.
As for today, it was kind of weird. I ate more than I usually do, mainly because I have a lot of perishables – and some very good roast beef - in the fridge. I also wanted to try to keep my metabolism going all day and apparently you have to eat to do that. As far as exercise, I planned on heading to the weight room today but that got all screwed up when my boss called in sick for work. I had to lay out two extra pages for today’s paper, which took me an extra two hours.
When I was done with that I had to do an interview. It was 3 p.m. by the time I was free. Instead of working out, I decided to go to the park and walk for an hour. I like walking more than working out because it is a time for me to be alone with my thoughts. A lot of the things you read in this entry come from that time. Fortunately, it has been unseasonably warm the last month. I suspect that will change sooner rather than later. Either way, I have to start making more of an effort to hit the weights. Sure I might get down to 270 by the end of this, but I don’t want it to be a soft 270.
That’s it for today. I’ll be back tomorrow.
Posted by west at January 21, 2006 2:08 AM
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