100 Days

Goddam motherfucker.

Why is it that this second phase of the diet is so much harder to do than the first phase? I don’t know. But I gotta say, it has been really hard to get started. Perhaps it is the change of scenery that has me thrown for a loop. But why can’t I just find the same motivation I had 10 months ago? Where is it?

So today was another bad day. Of course it was. I need to stop this right fucking now. That’s all there is to it. There are no excuses for my eating, no matter how hard I try to justify it at the time. This is the part of losing weight that sucks, the terror of possibly lapsing back into fat world with no safety net. The trap is enticing because the weight, at least for me, does take a long time to come back.

I’m pissed right now and, to tell you the truth, I don’t really feel like writing.